Okkar Lif | The Stiff Family Blog

We've Moved!

2012-01-05T23:09:00.003-06:00

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Iker Didi

2012-01-05T08:01:00.003-06:00

I do not often use this blog to advocate for waiting children. It's not because I don't want to. I think every child needs a home. Since bringing Jack home, I haven't been obsessively scouring waiting lists. Most of the waiting lists that float into my email box have a huge list of people, including several well known bloggers, who far more eloquently than I advocate on a regular basis. This morning is different. This morning, I need to tell you about a little boy who is touching my heart.

Ikker Didi is from the same orphanage that Jack is from. Thanks to Love Without Boundaries, he is already way ahead of the curve Jack was placed on in China. He is in school. He is learning. He deserves a family.

This morning I'm tired. I'm cheating. I'm copying and pasting the entire blog post about Ikker Didi so you can see for yourself...

A Day at School with Iker DiDi

Our newest Believe in Me school in Changzhi, Shanxi, has a student who seems to light up each and every photo we see of him: six-year-old Iker DiDi. DiDi means “little brother” in Chinese, and since there is an older boy named Iker at the school, they call the younger boy “Iker DiDi.” It’s pretty obvious that Iker DiDi enjoys school a lot! He loves to learn Chinese characters and math and particularly loves to sing songs. The teacher reports that he is very intelligent and active, and optimistic. His special need is that his left hand is smaller and weaker than his right.

We received several photos of Iker DiDi at school. You can see here that he enjoys playing with building blocks…

…singing with friends…
(Iker DiDi is in grey on the right)

…helping the teacher fetch learning materials…

…and reciting ancient Chinese poems with his classmates.

Sweet Iker DiDi has been waiting on the shared list for over a year for his family to find him. Please help us spread the word that he is available by sharing his story!

Love Without Boundaries proudly advocates for adoption but is not an adoption agency. We invite you to contact adoptionassistance@lwbmail.com with questions about a child we have featured and encourage you to contact your local adoption agency for more information about China’s Waiting Child Program.

Last I want to say how thankful I am to Love WIthout Boundaries. A nutrition program is starting at the orphanage in Changzhi as well as this new Believe In Me School. The difference I see in the pictures of these boys compared to the ones we received of Jack are amazing. If Ikker Didi isn't your son, I encourage you to check out Love WIthout Boundaries. They are really doing fabulous work all over China. Please support them in any way you can.

Works For Me Wednesday

2012-01-04T08:22:00.000-06:00

Thought I was staying away? Yeah, me too. One more thing for Ray to play with moving over later...I have been lurking around the Works For Me Wednesday peeps for a bit now. It seems I finally have something to share.

Arleigh and Hanan got their ears pierced this summer. Two birthdays and one Christmas later, tiny little earrings and their backs seem to be multiplying like rabbits around here. I searched Pinterest long and hard to find a cute way to store them that wouldn't get them mixed up or jumbled. Most of the really cute designs were for big dangly earrings. Other than some feather earrings that Arleigh got for her birthday... not really their style.

I saw it somewhere long ago, though I can't remember where. My memory was jogged walking through Wal-Mart. They have a desk drawer that is not put to good use. I asked them to clean it out. (Two birds with one stone!) Then I slid in two ice cube trays. At $1 each they are far more affordable than some of the other stuff. I might have looked a little harder for some cute colors but these were right in front of me and the dresser is white.

Now I appreciate the white, because they can easily grab at the color they want. Isn't is beautiful? It's the one place in my house at this very moment that I know is all tucked away just where it belongs.

It works for me!

Changes

2012-01-03T12:45:00.002-06:00

I could tell you about my morning. Finally getting an appointment after being asked to call back and being put on hold at least 7 times, getting an appointment then losing it because someone mistakenly told me that the pediatric ophthalmologist that I just knew Jack had to see would accept our military insurance. Then after crushing my dreams and canceling an appointment, they referred me to a ophthalmologist who would be happy to take my insurance but would never, ever see a three-year old much less one who can't communicate. Calgon take me away!

Prayers were answered. Jack does have an appointment. We will get answers about his eyes and those answers will blessedly be covered by insurance. So, I won't tell you the long version that took four hours and 23 phone conversations.

Instead, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. We are going to make the move to Wordpress. I owe my web designer big time. Good thing Ray works for free. I need to clear the pictures with my wonderful photographer. Ray will have to move a few posts and create the jump, but I'm starting to get excited.

Soooo I may take a little break for a bit. It's not like I don't have anything else to do around here. It will prevent Ray from having to scoot so much back and forth. Until then... Here's a little sneak peek...

First Run Of 2012

2012-01-02T20:43:00.001-06:00

I finally pulled on my shoes and walked out the front door this morning. I did mention actually training for my next half. I thought the best place to start was a decent four mile trek around the neighborhood.

The operative word up there was thought. I didn't take into account exactly what 40 degrees would feel like with wind warnings. It is also supposed to be trash day but the trash guys didn't run. Between the open recycling bins an the wind warnings I was off roading an obstacle course. Hurdles included a large tub of pretzels, various discarded Christmas boxes and a Christmas tree. I was running uphill as the Christmas tree rolled downhill. Good times.

Never underestimate my power to get through a short run. When I wasn't hurdling trees I entertained myself imaging what kind of party went on based on the recycling bins. Some were full of champagne bottles, others had cheesecake boxes but my favorites were the bins full of boxed wine and beer bottles. I entertained myself for long periods of time imagining those parties.

I also had a moment. I spent the first run of the year freezing my rear off and considering death with the rolling hills. My last run of 2012 will surely be warm and possibly on the beach. With the wind seriously threatening to knock me down or take me down with rolling debris, a calm run on the beach started to sound nice. I am, however a bit concerned. Right now the most threatening thing I tend to meet on a long trot through the woods is a deer. Soon I could be meeting wild pigs. I'm not real thrilled with that thought. I'll just leave it at that.

Sent from my iPhone

I Resolve To

2012-01-02T09:21:00.002-06:00

I refuse to start any resolutions on Jan. 1st. I'm a rebel like that and Jan. 1st is also a big day of eating around here. There's all the leftover sweets, ham, black eyed peas and fried cabbage. (Grandma, we missed your tomato relish ALOT!) Let's face it, usually my resolutions involve things like getting organized, not wasting money and losing weight. It's not really that much different this year.

This has been a big, big year. It's hard to imagine how 2012 will be any bigger after bringing Jack home. Then I realize, we're moving. This will be another big year. I guess we just do things big. So it's time to pull up my big girl panties and get started. There is a long list of changes that I want to make.

Let's start with the simple... take my vitamins daily. I take so many if Scully and Mulder ever find me in a public restroom, they'll probably bring me and my glow in the dark super expensive pee into the lab. It does however kill two birds with one stone. I have to drink three glasses of water just to get all of them down...and I've just hit another change...drink more water.

Also in the health department, I have lost my mind. I'm considering another half before our big move. I was thinking Jackson but since my partner in crime thinks she's done with the whole 13.1 thing, I'll settle for Murray or Paducah because of the ready made babysitter and Ray could run too. I don't want to do another half unless I can train for it properly. I did not train for the last two properly and it was a problem. Training properly will include eating properly and will also possibly help me drop some more weight before I'm surrounded my bikini's on a daily basis.

In the spiritual health department... last year I grabbed a reading plan and failed miserably at reading through the Bible in a year. While I failed miserably... Grandma finished it up before the year ended. Did I mention that I am proud to have a wonderful, loving, inspiring mother? I'm determined to do it this year, even with a move stuck straight up in the middle. This is the plan. I like it because each month has only 25 readings. It gives me the wiggle room I need for things like horrible awful ugly jet lag.

Last is my big reveal resolution, the one I need to be held accountable for... who am I kidding, I need to be held accountable for all of it. This is the big one though. I saw this post on my friend Sharon's Facebook account. It says, "Imagine who you want your kids to become. Be that." That is what I want to focus on this year. So I've been compiling a list of traits that I want my kiddos to have. I want them to be

Strong
Courageous
Not crybabies...something hormones are turning me into on a regular basis for no apparent reason and it's making me crazier than I already am
Merciful
Educated
Humble
Virtuous
Honest and Sincere
Caring
Diligent
Organized
Prepared
Gracious
Aware of their surroundings
Compassionate
Most of all, I want them to truly love God and others

I'm sure that I'll add lots to the list. It's a tall order. I probably struggle with each and every one of those traits on a daily basis. I've been reading so many blogs who pick one word for the year. Look at those. Any one of those things would have been a fabulous word for the year. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. It all boils down to trying to be who I want my kids to become.

I would love to hear your resolutions.

Picture courtesy of inspiredtoaction.com

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T20:00:00.001-06:00

I would love to tell you that we rang in the New Year with a BANG!!! This was yesterday at 4:45 p.m.

Jack sound asleep on the sofa. Bria still in her pajamas... didn't bother to tell us that Jack was asleep because she was using Jack's new toy that he can't stand for her to have. Did you catch that 4:45 p.m. and Bria was STILL in her pajamas?

Grandma and Tye Tye have been here, hanging out watching movies and eating. About 5 minutes after they left the Lloyds arrived. We haven't seen them since my big girls were 3 and 4. They were able to stop over on their way to ski... in TN? Not sure how that will work out since it was 67 degrees outside when they left. We loved being able to hang out with them. It was like we were just at their house last week. I love it when friends show up and we get to pick up right where we left off, even if that was 6 years ago. The girls acted as if they had grown up together. It was fabulous!

The kiddos are still out of school tomorrow so Christmas will come down. I have several little resolutions that I may share... right now... the ham, black eyed peas and fried cabbage are pretty heavy in my belly. We're all sleepy and it's time for bed. Happy New Year!!!

My Pinterest Addiction

2011-12-30T08:41:00.001-06:00

I have developed a possibly unhealthy love for Pinterest. It's at the very least unhealthy for Ray. I've kept him pretty busy. I've talked about it before. I wanted to show you some of this year's projects.

I started making my own laundry detergent. You may have heard me mention Mount Washmore once or twice or 1000 times. As much laundry as we go through... this was a pretty great decision. It took less than 15 minutes thanks to my handy dandy food processor and should save us a bunch.

I no longer need my OxyClean jar so I filled it with all of our loose colors...crayons for you yankees. This is a bit of a problem because I can't just send Bria to get them anymore but it makes clean up much faster and I'm not tempted to throw a loose one in the trash.

I've mentioned this before... All my makeup on one magnet board. This has been a time saver. I really don't love the fabric but it was super cheap and I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I'll probably tweak it a little before we move.

I wish I could say the next one changed my life. It didn't. It makes things a bit easier to keep up with though. A cheap Wal-Mart frame, some old scrap paper and some stickers...

This one isn't as brilliant as I hoped either. It's our chore jar. When the kids are whiny or being difficult, they have to choose a chore. Each child has their own token with age appropriate chores written on it.

This hangs right outside the bedrooms. I need to make more of an effort to stop and read it.

As a side note... yes this house is that gold. It changes colors in the light. Yes, after only two years I am sick of it. I miss owning my house and the right to choose my paint colors.

Ray finished Jack's ~~train~~ car table yesterday. He immediately climbed on top of it. Oh well. Good thing Ray makes things with our kids in mind. Pretty sure he loves it. After this Christmas and his shower I'm pretty sure there are more toys in his room alone than were in his orphanage. We'll be doing something about that soon. We have a huge collection of Little People that he likes but they are taking a back seat to the tracks. If anyone in the area is interested... I think I'm going to sell the whole lot of them.

I saved the best Pinterest project for last. It's a board that Ray helped me turn into a ruler for Jack's room. It double as a growth chart and it's how we know he's more than two inches taller since we picked him up in China. (That two inches includes his spine straightening out. He doesn't look that much taller.)

The girls are getting their fair share of Pinterest love too. Most of it has come during birthday parties. Their rooms were pretty finished. I'm on the hunt for an old spice rack for Arleigh and Hanan and their nail polish though.

This is just the stuff for our house. It doesn't include the recipes... If you are interested in my boards, you can find them here.

Baby Steps

2011-12-29T04:00:00.000-06:00

In the past week Jack has been through a lot. Frankly we all have with the back and forth of Christmas. Somedays he dealt with it better than others but let's be honest, we are all a little like that. So many people ask how he likes it, did he love it?

The best answer is most of it. He loved making cookies at Grandma's. Then I made him lick the icing. He has slowly started to like sweet things. It made for a great picture but Jack...Not...real...happy...

He happily entertained everyone at Nana Bonnie's but when Santa showed up to set him on his lap... it didn't go over well.

The best was when he opened a Cars Geotrax set from Santa. He was so excited he yelled "Nom! Nom! Nom!" I guess he was so excited he just wanted to eat it up.

He also managed to bust a move with while his cousins played Dance Party 3 at Aunt Glenda's.

For the most part, Christmas was just Jack going with the flow and only really showing frustration when he can't really communicate. It drives us both a little crazy.

He used to put his hand on his mouth when he was nervous. That slowed a bit then he started running around with his mouth hanging open making weird noises. I thought he looked like he needed a straight jacket and padded room. I know someone is saying, "Careful what you wish for." We went from a little peculiar to is there a problem? Ray kept saying it was more being a boy but it's so hard to tell. I started nicely saying "Close your mouth, Jack." every time I saw him doing it. Now I swear he does it sometimes just to annoy me then he'll say, "close your mouth, Jack" and grin a Cheshire grin.

This week we have been following two families. One went to court in Ethiopia for kiddo number six, the other went to pick up kiddo number six. I've been wondering how on earth they do it. Jack is awesome and funny. He is also a 24 hour job... constant taking to the potty, calming down, trying to teach. Totally worth it, but he is one time consuming little dude. When we were in the middle of adopting him, I felt like I could say I'm doing this... Now three months home it seems like most of what I do includes wiping butts and noses. I know there won't always be a big thing that I'm expected to do, but some days it feels like I'm losing myself to that whole butts and noses thing. (Please note not all the time and not even every day...)

So we're gearing up for the next round of medical appointments. I'm braced and ready. I'm looking for progress a little too hard I guess. Then today a miracle happened. Jack brought me a plate and said "Mama, goo fish." He wanted more goldfish and he called me Mama and he asked for it. Best Christmas Present Ever!!! It gives me that glimmer of hope that maybe I haven't really been doing everything backwards. Let me repeat... the boy has not in three months addressed me at all much less called me, Mama. It is a big deal!

So that's where we are... baby steps that sometimes feel like giant leaps.

So This Is Christmas

2011-12-28T08:07:00.000-06:00

We are back in Tennessee... the kids and I were officially gone for a little over a week. It looks like a toy store threw up in Jack's room. He's a pretty happy kid. Going through the pictures, I realized it's just too much to try to sum up that much time in one post. If I don't get some pictures up, Grandma may strangle me or maybe not since she'll be here very soon.

I'm getting to the point... Instead of waxing poetically about families at Christmas and probably failing miserably at it, I'm just putting up the pictures. You're welcome.

A Three Hour Drive...

2011-12-27T21:20:00.001-06:00

What do you do on an three-hour drive with four kids in tow with the wind blowing so hard you're pretty sure the mom mobile will take flight any minute? You mean you don't make up for own Gilligan's Island theme song? "A three hour drive...A three hour drive..." Oh. I don't either.

I had a little bit of time between whines fighting and tantrums to think about blog names. Ray is toying with WordPress for me again. In case you are wondering what on earth Okkar Lif means... it's Our Life in Icelandic. When we started this blog, we had two kids born in Iceland and suddenly another one was about to show up. Four years ago, I had no idea that we would be preparing to leave Tennessee for Hawaii with four kids and a dog that wasn't in the picture when we started this thing. Suddenly an Icelandic title doesn't seem to encompass all that we are anymore.

So here are a few things we've been toying with... StiffSeatingForSix. Ray says it's too long and too confusing. He also doesn't need to be reminded how much extra time we have to wait to get a table at a restaurant, or the fact that we rarely go to a restaurant where you order from a menu at a table instead of a counter.

There's 3Americans2IcelandicsandtheChineseBoy...except we're actually all American citizens so that doesn't really work and I'm sure we would offend someone.

I was leaning toward SpamGrits&Chopsticks. That sort of leaves out Iceland and our very strange military life. How often do I really write about our weird Navy Life? It's not that different from most people's other than our moves.

There was the 4Kids&~~Counting~~Stopping. The marked out line doesn't really work and it just about gives Ray a heart attack to look at it.

When we were thick in the middle of adopting Jack, Ray would tell people, I said, "I'm all in. Whatever happens it's in God's hands and I'm all in." I would love to find a way to work around that. I really don't want another title that I have to tell a story about every time.

Clearly I'm stuck here. Since We Are That Family is taken. Any suggestions?

Also I have been home for exactly 5 hours. I did manage to look at a couple of pictures. If I don't get at least one up, Grandma may kill me. Here you go mom. File this one under Awkward Family Photos... I'm not sure if that's a low Santa Unibrow or something much, much worse.

The Morning After

2011-12-26T15:57:00.000-06:00

It has been a very, very long and very, very blessed week. Some of my favorite Christmas moments included Santa surprising the girls at Nana Bonnie's, he knew their names and just what they wanted...Jack took one look at his big gift from Santa and said "Nom Nom Nom!!!"...Bria played with a cousin she rarely ever sees like they were always best friends under the kitchen table during a family gathering. Now it's done. Over. All done! I am feeling as done as the Thanksgiving turkey.
All the wrapping paper is in trash bags. The kids are playing with and fighting over new toys. The dog has been told to get off of Nana's sofa about 183 times today. Ray says that even Tucker needs to be recalibrated after a visit to Grandma's. Oh my the recalibration!
Soon I'll be boxing up houses, cramming trees in boxes and begging Ray to tear down the outside lights. Before I know it, there will be yard sales and packing. Even though I've all but begged, Grandma won't be moving to Hawaii with us. She said something about Ned, Golo and I don't want to talk about it anymore.
It takes so long to get ready for Christmas and then we blink and it's done. I wonder if we taught our kids just what they were supposed to know or if they think Christmas means stuff. In the morning after, I am honestly not so sure. I was such a Scrooge for a bit, I'm afraid I might have negated any good I tried to do. The nice thing about Christmas is there is always next year to start getting ready and wonder if I've failed miserably all over again.
We are still on the road. I left without a cable or laptop so all 1500+ pictures are stuck in the black hole that is my camera. A never ending supply of pictures will be coming soon. Yes, I'm talking to you Grandma. Yes, I'm more than a little ready to stop living out of a suitcase but that's mostly blamed on the back and forth. How did I do this when we lived in Iceland? Ray has his truck here too and it's all ready loaded for bear. I not really sure where we'll put Tucker on the way home.
By now it should be clear that I find the Christmas aftermath a wee bit overwhelming much like the dread of the Christmas version of Mount Washmore. Clearly I'm all bluster with nothing to say...except, if I didn't get to see you I am sorry. I wish we could carve out time for everyone, crinkle my nose and show up just for a few minutes in your living room. Unfortunately it just doesn't work that way. If you can manage it for us before our big move... Start crinkling!
Sent from my iPad

A Banana Cake

2011-12-23T21:40:00.000-06:00

Every year when I was little my aunt (I may have mentioned her...Nana Bonnie) and her little family lived in Memphis. It was a big deal to me when they drove in, especially for the holidays. In fact one year they showed up early but Mom didn't want me leaving the house with a wet head. I was in such a hurry to get to Gran and Dee's house to see them, I put the blow dryer directly on my head and proceeded to burn the thing up. Sorry Mom. It was Christmas and I'm sure you didn't have the extra cash to run out to the store for a new dryer.

Any who... Part of the preparations for the visit always included a banana cake. Gran would tell me it was Sann's favorite and we just had to make it. I remember mashing bananas with a potato masher. She wouldn't dare let me frost it because it was for Sann. It didn't occur to me to be jealous because the famous Memphians were coming AND I was going to get to eat that banana cake. In the summer, Dee would make banana ice cream to go with it. Now I want that too!

The funny thing is after Gran died I said something about that banana cake to Sann. He said he never really liked it but didn't want to hurt Gran's feelings one year and before he knew it he got to eat it with every visit. I wonder how many times things like that happen in families because we don't want to hurt each other.

This year mom pulled out a banana cake recipe. It was yummy thick cake and the frosting almost tasted like banana pudding. Of course I immediately thought of Sann... after my third piece. He has no idea what he was missing!

Our Little Christmas Miracle

2011-12-23T09:31:00.000-06:00

While I realize there are many other things to be thankful for, last night every child was in bed and I looked down to see two dogs sleeping at my feet. Tucker was on a sofa in another room. If you knew Max and Barkley, quiet nose to nose truly is nothing short of a miracle. Peace be with us. Merry Christmas!

The iPad That Wasn't

2011-12-22T00:05:00.001-06:00

We are big Nana Bonnie fans around here. When you put Nana Bonnie and Grandma together...it's just too much to describe. I got to KY, settled in at Grandma's and called Nana Bonnie for some reason or other and to let her know we were in town.

Nana Bonnie was laughing nervously. She was just sure she had messed up Grandma's Christmas and it was eating her alive. She started to tell the story...

Tori and Phia (her granddaughters) are going to get iPads for Christmas. Her son, Sann was telling her how she would need her own because she loves her iPhone so much and she could FaceTime with the girls. She told him she would love an iPad but it just wasn't in the budget right now. A couple of days later a box arrived on her doorstep from Apple. This box was just he right size to hold an iPad. She was giddy with excitement. She just knew Sann had sent her an iPad even though that's not what she asked for.

Nana Bonnie looked at that box and decided that since it was sealed tighter than a drum, she would wait for her friend Don to help her open it. In the meantime she called Grandma to brag on Sann. He is such a wonderful loving son who wanted to give her the gift of communication with her sweet granddaughters. It was such a kind, thoughtful gift even though her gift had already been purchased. Grandma was not the only person she called singing Sann's praises either. I think that day Sann's ears were probably ringing as she sang his praises all over town.

Don finally arrived. She couldn't wait to get that little box open and set that sucker up. Even better, I would be in town soon to show her how to use it. She thought it was kismet. The box opened...there was no iPad. It was a book.

You see, back in the summer we had a little girls's trip. I told Grandma and Nana Bonnie that I would make them each a photo book. When the girls get to hang out with Tori and Phia, I try to make a book for them. It took me forever to upload the first two books. I thought I would surprise Nana Bonnie with hers just before Christmas. I called Grandma to make sure she wanted one, sometimes she doesn't like the flood of memories a photograph can bring on. I told her I would order hers later and we forgot.

Then Nana Bonnie called Grandma. She didn't know if Grandma had a book too or if she would get one for Christmas. She had to tell her there was no iPad it was just a book. How could she tell her without ruining he surprise? It was worrying her to death.

I laughed and explained that mom knew I was sending the book and she would get one later. Grandma is getting and even better Christmas gift that I'm pretty excited about. Nana Bonnie was telling me how much she loved that little book. She even cried looking through the pictures...and I believed her when she said it wasn't because she didn't get that iPad!

So Sann... It's not too late. There is always overnight shipping if you want to make that grand Christmas gesture. If not, I'll teach her how to Use FaceTime with her phone while I'm here.

Sent from my iPad

Shake That

2011-12-21T16:17:00.001-06:00

If he ever talks... It will be because of music. Maybe I should pick some other more kid appropriate stuff but he likes a fast beat. The girls are helping too. Pretty sure he's picking up as much from them as he is iTunes.

Sent from my iPhone

I've Been A Scrooge

2011-12-20T23:03:00.001-06:00

Ray actually told me that I have been a Scrooge this year. Sadly, I have to admit that I have been. I didn't want to have to do all those little things that I feel like I have to do. The pressure was weighing me down.

We hit the road very early Sunday morning. We've celebrated Christmas with Nana and Papa, Uncle Mike and Aunt Sharon. There's been time to catch up, presents opened and a trip for Jack to meet his great grandma for the first time. Rays works outside a lot wiring this or fixing that. The girls got their fill of running around playing tag yesterday. My shoulders still felt heavy even with a laid back schedule of Christmas vacation.

Tonight, Jack had a moment... a crocodile tears moment. Sometimes the lack of communication is just too much to bare. He couldn't tell me what he wanted. I'm honestly not sure if he even knew. We sort of watched it build all day. Ray headed back to TN to work just before dinner. A little later the pout started turning into feet stomping. I try to distract him but there are times when it's like riding a roller coaster. All day long I felt like I was being pulled to the top of a hill. There are butterflies of anticipation. You know it's coming, a steep fast drop...but I'm in that back car and it seems like it will never happen. Then it does... A toy goes flying. I very firmly tell Jack no, take the toy and sit him down. His lip immediately turns in an upside down U. His eyes look as far away from me as they can and he squints until they are almost closed. I almost have time to say, "Let the wailing begin!" when the cries and moans start.

Tonight was a good one. It was almost 15 of ...well the term weeping and gnashing of teeth comes to mind. Three extra mamas who want to make it better and one who just wants him to understand why it's not okay to hurdle things across the room when you are angry. For a bit Christmas didn't matter. Being grumpy didn't matter. All that mattered was finding a way to communicate and comfort a lost little boy.

Jack bounced back but he wasn't Happy Jack. He was sort of out of it. His whines were spreading quickly through to the girls. That weight was getting mighty heavy. Then Pa pa saved the day. He got out his harmonica and started to play Silent Night then Amazing Grace...then his tunes started to pick up the pace. Before I knew it there were four kids having a hoe down in the middle of the living room. Pa pa was laughing and winded but as long as they danced and stopped to applaud each song, he kept playing. The girls were happy and I also had Happy Jack back. It was a bit of a Christmas miracle and the weight started to lift a little.

We had dinner and I sent all four kids to bed early. They are exhausted and in the morning we leave for Kentucky. Nana was fast asleep in her recliner and I watched some weird reality tv show about a pawn shop in Detroit. I would never have watched that at home. Now I'm glad I gave it a chance. Pa pa and I had a big time watching the people come in to sell and pawn the strangest things. It also gave me a perspective of how desperate times have become for some people.

When I got up to come to bed, the stress and the rush has disappeared. Just me and four kiddos hitting the road in the morning. I am determined to leave the grumpy Scrooge behind. If I had to be a Scrooge this year, at least I realized it before Christmas eve in time to enjoy it!

Merry Christmas and may God bless us, everyone!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Happy Birthday Arleigh

2011-12-19T17:27:00.001-06:00

I blinked and Arleigh is 11. When did that happen? Boys, okay a boy is calling. There were plenty of them lurking around our house on Halloween night though... Enough to let me know what's about to start happening. Arleigh is developing her own style, making her own friends and growing up way too fast.

She is becoming a beautiful young woman. Without asking, she is a mother hen to her siblings. She is also finding ways to carve out time for herself. Her piano playing is nothing short of amazing to her mother who can't carry a tune in a bucket. She is strong and compassionate and she's just starting to figure it all out.

We aren't all sunshine and roses over here either...but I have been blessed with some pretty awesome kids and Arleigh is the first...the one who sets the bar. We love you Arleigh Grace! Happy 11th birthday!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Rush

2011-12-17T21:52:00.000-06:00

The thought occurred to me today that 20 years ago... give or take... I was finishing up my rush semester and getting ready for initiation into the world of sorority. I made it through Rush week and giggled at the boys going through their Hell week. Today it dawned on me... if anyone really wanted to "rush" or go through "Hell Week" they should be given four kids, live away from the Grandparents and be forced to maneuver their way through numerous Christmas parties and concerts, prepare Teacher gifts for church and school and throw in a birthday party for good measure all within one week. More than once rush and hell came to mind. (Don't worry. Thanks to Ranger Rick's search engine, my blog is blocked from Arleigh's iPod.)

This week I started with really good intentions of finishing Christmas shopping. I didn't. I had really good intentions of a lot of things. A lot of things didn't happen. Here's what did...

Mount Washmore (there is always Mount Washmore)
Long talks with a guidance counselor and thinly veiled threats made by both of us.
Piano... and we unexpectantly had to cancel next week's lesson and I didn't take Ms. Pepper a gift. It's killing me!
Lunch at the school with the girls... with donuts for Arleigh's birthday.
We hosted a Christmas dinner for our focus group before church Wednesday night.
A recorder concert.
Arleigh's Christmas party.
Hanan's Christmas party.
Bria's Christmas party.
Jack met Santa.
I cut Jack's hair. It didn't look great so Ray shaved it. Yes, shaved it.... for his first Christmas and I am somehow catching the blame.
We got orders to Hawaii.
I have come to the realization that I haven't bought a single gift for Ray or the kids. Ray is the only one not getting anything.
All the gifts that were purchased were wrapped... all be it about 15 minutes ago.
Arleigh had a sleepover. I'm still not sure how many girls were here. They were good. They were loud. I think they all had fun. I just got rid of them a little before noon so ask me tomorrow.
It was such a long week, Bria put herself in her bed and took a nap without telling me. Jack was still playing in the room...

Arleigh helped me make these instead of a birthday cake... they were much easier and so good!

Arleigh also helped me make a Concession stand sign. I'm am so tired, I'm the one who spelled it wrong!

Yep... tired is my middle name. Stressed too. In about 6 hours I'll be getting up to drive to IL and then KY and then IL and somehow someway back to TN where were are hoping Tye Tye comes for a bit.

I plan to post about Arleigh's birthday as soon as I can. She deserves and probably wants her own post. Until then, Merry Christmas!

The Ghost Of Christmas Past

2011-12-15T20:48:00.002-06:00

A friend has been inserting old family Christmas photos on her blog. It made me itch to look at a few of ours, so of course I had to share...

Merry Christmas

2011-12-15T19:22:00.000-06:00

Santa made a special appearance at Bria's preschool today. Jack actually thought he was a pretty cool dude... for about 45 seconds. He never screamed or cried but he did try to make a bee line for the door with the basket of candy canes. Tis the season y'all!

Sushi and Donuts

2011-12-15T08:09:00.001-06:00

Yesterday we had our Focus Group over for dinner before church. I had to get all the Sunday school teachers (12) gifts ready because plans changed and we won't be at our church for the next two Sundays. Today there are 3 Christmas parties, more teacher gifts, shopping and wrapping and getting ready for Arleigh's party.
I still stopped to have our annual school birthday lunch with Arleigh a couple of days early. She requested sushi for lunch and donuts to share with her class instead of cupcakes. So that's what I did...sushi and donuts. I took a picture because I quite certain it will be a while before I see that combo again!
More on Arleigh's 11th birthday later. I'm trying really hard this morning to pretend she can just be 10 forever!

Excuse Us

2011-12-13T14:35:00.002-06:00

Please excuse the interruption in our regularly scheduled ~~programming~~ blogging... I knew it was coming. Most you did not.

You don't have to watch the video... just play the music while you read the rest of this.

We will be trading our BBQ nachos for shrimp trucks and spam fried rice very soon. We have three year orders to paradise... Hawaii!

We're excited about shrimp trucks and beaches and nice weather. I could live in skirts and tevas and pretty soon I will. We like to live with sand in our shorts and beautiful sunsets. We're pretty excited... except... middle Tennessee is a paradise to us too. It's close to family. It's close to the lake, fishing and mule rides.

We're trading surfing and sunsets for ready made babysitters. Somehow, it doesn't seem like a fair trade.

So I won't go on for fear of ruining Christmas for Grandma...and me. I will also readily admit that after this week, I'm looking forward to a much slower island Christmas next year.

I'm sure there will be more later...

Uummm Yeah

2011-12-13T06:49:00.000-06:00

I wrote a post but somehow managed to get logged out and the whole thing is lost.

I was saying how I'm sorry I took Ray's head off because I made a mistake.

I was saying that Arleigh is navigating a tween mine field.

I was mentioning that twice since Friday I've been forced to talk to a guidance counselor at the school because after months of asking why Hanan was distracted, she stood up to a bully, told on herself and she's the one in trouble.

I was mentioning how Bria is a demanding four-year old.

It was a LOOOOOOOOONG post. I'm a little irritated. Maybe it's a sign that I should just keep my mouth shut.

I don't have time to rewrite it. I don't know if I have time to go to the bathroom or wipe my own butt.

I do have time to say I'm sorry Ray. Clearly you just uncorked it.

Now I have to go do Christmas and birthday parties, order donuts, and pick up Bria's stocking stuffers for school. I'll try to fill you in later.

For Nana Bonnie

2011-12-12T14:00:00.002-06:00

It's been nuts around here but who am I kidding? It's always nuts around here.

The car is back. The Girl Scout Party is over. Arleigh's birthday is Friday. I'm avoiding it hoping she won't really grow up. She wants a Movie Themed Sleepover...but she won't watch The Princess Bride. I.do.not.understand.

I haven't even started Christmas shopping, with the exception of something I purchased in KY in July.

Arleigh's recorder concert is Thursday. She wants me to have lunch at school with her on Thursday...with donuts. Bria's Christmas party is Thursday. I haven't bought the gift for her to exchange, the treats for her class stockings or the item for the party.

Uncle Mike just left. The kids are in mourning.

Our Christmas schedule for visiting family is still not set in stone, although it may include part of this weekend... after a sleepover. Heaven help me!

In other news, I made my own laundry detergent yesterday. Mount Washmore is killing the grocery budget. I did three loads yesterday and two today and that' pretty normal around here. Hopefully what I made will last at least 6 months. I spent $17. I typically spend $20 a month in detergent alone. We'll see. So far, it's working and that includes Jack's bloody nose clothes. (The kid is a picker.)

I haven't showered today or gone for my run or bought Christmas presents. I did manage some more Christmas cookies though and dinner is the crockpot.

This raggedy post is for you Nana Bonnie... so you will have something to wake up to tomorrow. I promise more tomorrow... right now I should probably shower before I have to hit the car line.

I Survived The Party

2011-12-09T07:40:00.001-06:00

The Mom Mobile was supposed to be ready by mid morning. Ray dropped off the big girls. Then he came back so we could all go to drop off Bria at school. We don't all fit in his truck. We ran into Target to get some last minute things for the party and check out some shoes for Jack and Bria. (As a side note, can I just say the bathing suits at the front of the store threw Ray for a loop. I told him people are hitting cruises now, leave it alone. Then in the shoes.... no more winter shoes? It was almost all flip flops and sandals. Really? The clearance section was even cleared out. And Bria... just outgrew every pair of shoes she has. Marshalls will be on the agenda today.) So then we go to see in the mom mobile is ready. It was parked outside. We're golden... or not. They haven't even started. Yesterday they said it would be at lease a 12 hour job.

I was a little disturbed. There is always something that happens last minute. I knew I would need something. I really needed to be getting ready. Ray needed to be at work. Things were not going well. I went to work, trying not to worry about it. House to clean... donuts, cupcakes. Ray worked from home. We got a call a little over two hours later. The Mom Mobile is ready for pick up. Yes, there is a mechanic in the family and I plan on asking him.... How in the world did a 12 hour job that I have to pay labor for turn into a 2 hour job? Why didn't they do that yesterday?

We were off to get Bria, then the beloved van. I swear she's like a well worn purse and I'll cry a river when she totally breaks down. I also swear I'll cry over my sweet van and not the car payment that will come when she dies. Hanan calls her Quest. I'm starting to think she deserves a more fitting southern name like Mary Lou or Maybelline.

Back home... then get the big girls... then keep getting ready. Lucky for me Jack has found Bria's Dora guitar. He just follows up around playing it and saying, "Oh Man!" like Swiper. He is so oblivious to anything else happening. Homework is done... Ray starts putting up Christmas lights because he knows how much the girls, Arleigh especially wants them up before the party. Bless his heart, one strand was out and he started a little before 5. People were arriving at 6. I stand low on the totem pole though because my topiaries aren't out... just kidding Ray! I'll get them out today.

And it's time to start...

North Pole Cupcakes

Rudolph Donuts

They did the elephant ornament exchange. It was nuts. A couple of the little ones had a hard time but for the most part it went great...

For the most part because Bria was made that she wasn't participating. Then there was Hanan...Hanan who has been conditioned by Arleigh to not like things that may be perceived as babyish...Hanan was still loves all the things Bria loves... Hanan got a Hello Kitty ornament. I thought she would be thrilled. Her face showed that she wasn't. She was clearly conflicted. I'm not supposed to like this, people will make fun of me sort of conflicted. I had to lean down and tell her to be gracious. I hate reminding my children to be grateful. I didn't feel the need to explain to them before the game started how to act. I guess I should have. Now Hanan's face was not the only face of disappointment. I hate it when it happens. Then this morning she said she really wanted that ornament. I knew she did. She traded it later with one of her friends who wanted it to give it to her "cousin." Natalie really wanted it too. This age is soooooo hard.

Then patches... they each got too many to mention.

Other than one child who weighs all of 50 pounds managing to be so buck wild she turned over a side table, the party went really well. I'm really glad that it's over. I feel like the gorilla is off of my back.

Oh and Jack... he was great. Hanging out upstairs in the playroom with his Daddy all to himself was just what that boy needed. He was like a pig in stink.

Did I Mention?

2011-12-08T08:02:00.001-06:00

Did I mention that Ray and Jack will be banished to the upstairs playroom tonight? Did I mention that Bria should be banished to the upstairs playroom tonight? Yep, the Girl Scout troop descends on our house this evening for their Christmas party.

Did I mention that I have approximately 23 errands to run before the party? Did I mention that the mom mobile is in the shop with $600 worth of repairs right before Christmas? Did I mention that right now I'm more worried about being without the mom mobile than I am the money? I'm sure that will change when the January credit card bill arrives.

Did I mention that the Girl Scout troop leader just had a baby 2 days ago? Did I mention that the ball was dropped for the craft because I'm too nice to worry a woman who is about to give birth?

Did I mention that I might be freaking out a little. The next 12 hours... Never mind. Now I'll mention that I need to go.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

He's Got Moves Like Jagger

2011-12-06T12:39:00.000-06:00

Hello Pot

2011-12-06T07:13:00.001-06:00

Why hello Pot! Let me introduce myself, I'm Kettle. I'm also apparently very adept at eating crow... Remember that post... just two posts back. You know the one I was writing from so high up on a soap box with so much distaste for the poor woman who was buying video games for her that were rated mature? That one.

Well, yesterday that could have been me. I mentioned that I didn't get much done because I was reading The Hunger Games before I gave it to Arleigh. I mentioned that it was a peacemaking move because I have been refusing to let the girls read the Twilight Series. Then I was told how much better Twilight would be for them. Then I mentioned Stephen King's quote about Twilight...

“Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”
― Stephen King

There was no real discussion but it made me think... am I that woman ignoring the warning about how dangerous something is for my child?

It could be that I was drunk from reading such a good book... a book that I could easily identify with the main character. At sixteen I thought I was just like Katniss Everdeen. I was moody and brooding. I thought everything that my mother did was wrong and everything that I did was right. (Let me say I had absolutely no reason to think this. Katniss has reasons. I was just acting like a turd.) For some unknown reason, the weight of the world seemed to fall on my shoulders and I was going to get out of the little town where I lived and never come back. I had no plans of marriage or children because they would just tie me down. At this point I need to say that Katniss has very real reasons to be moody and brooding, feeling the weight of the world, and a good reason for fearing marriage or children. I did not!

So this book which I clearly enjoyed and immediately wanted to hand it to Arleigh and have her read it. Arleigh has a hard time with her AR points. She would rather read news and articles than novels. I've been looking for a series that she could sink her teeth into that isn't some give your self up so that you can find the undying love of a boy book. I need her to see courage in the face of danger, choices being made to show character rather than rolling over and letting someone else deal with it or running away. I thought I had found it.

Then someone warned me about the next two books. I haven't read them yet. I will over Christmas. I'm wondering if I was so wrapped up in identifying with Katniss that I am letting too much violence seep in and inadvertently encouraging it.

So if you haven't heard of the Hunger Games series it's based on a time in the future. An evil government is now in control of North America. The nation is divided into 12 districts. There used to be 13. A rebellion caused the government to completely destroy the 13th district. In a move to demonstrate their power, the government has each district send two tributes once a year, a boy and a girl between the ages of 12 and 18 decided on by a system that encourages the poorest to be entered into the lottery more than the wealthy and powerful. These tributes are groomed and trained and then dropped into an arena that is actually a harsh landscape and forced to fight to the death. Of course the terrain and dangers of the elements alone can kill them. The back of the book says that Katniss will have to "make choices that weigh survival against humanity and life against love." Pretty heavy stuff but it's written in a way that Arleigh can understand the choices she is being forced to make. She can hear the kids discussing how they can keep their identity even though they are thrown into this horrible situation and expected to do horrible things. As I was reading it I was thinking about how we are forced to live in a fallen world but still we must do the right thing when everyone expects us to do something different.

I see theme parallels to talk about with the big girls. I see a strong female character who takes care of herself, learns about compassion and forgiveness. Violence is mixed in it all. Unfortunately the nightly news is also very violent here. I'm leaning toward reading it with her to discuss the choices that Katniss is forced to make and why she might be making them. I'm side stepping too because of one comment on Facebook.

So, tell me what you think. Please.....

Done!

2011-12-04T20:31:00.001-06:00

And we're done! One of the most difficult and yet fulfilling weekends of the year. Yesterday, Ray and I got up before the crack of dawn, but not before Papa... We were up and ~~ready~~ one of us was ready to run but not before making sure there were donuts, chocolate milk and lots of coffee for Nana and Papa. Arleigh was texting us well wishes as we joined 25,000 people downtown to run for St. Jude's.

See us there one Beale Street? Just kidding... this is a stock photo from last year.

We ran the half marathon...13.1 miles. I'm still not sure you can consider what I do running. Plus, it's an early morning run and I don't do mornings. I may or may not have been lapped by some power walkers. My sweet husband ran with me or maybe drug me over the finish line. I had fun, even though somewhere around mile 8 which happened to be the back side of the zoo a gorilla may have jumped on my back making it difficult to take another step.

In the days leading up to this race... you know because this is all of the second time I've done it... I wonder why on earth I signed up. Then you're running. You see the faces of the little patients as you run through St. Jude's. You see the t-shirts dedicated to children who are either fighting for their lives or already lost their battle. More than once, I was nearly in tears in the middle of the run. Of course, it didn't help that just as we headed into St. Jude's with all those little faces holding out their hands for high fives, The Reason for the World by Matthew West popped up on my iPod. That pretty much ensures the steamy tears hitting your eyes.

We had fun too. Even though I couldn't talk through all that moaning and groaning and huffing and puffing, Ray made it go by so much faster. We actually crossed the finish line hand in hand. Arleigh was quick to point out that the website said I crossed one second faster. Ray said it must have been my boobs. Trouble is, the number was attached to my gut... I guess I have some belly work in my future.

This time we saw more Elvises than you could shake a stick at. We ran next to a banana for a while. We were offered more than one beer. Some of my favorite signs were, "World's Worst Parade," and "Gooooo Daddy! Don't Trip!" Then there are the other shirts... the funny ones. My favorite this year was, "Run? I Thought You Said Rum!" A close second was, "Dear God, Please Let There Be Somebody Behind Me To Read This." I also liked, "If I Collapse, Please Pause My Garmin."

It should also be noted that I only had about an hour at home before I started the rounds to pick up girls for Pom Pom and then took them to the Arlington Christmas Parade where I walked the entire parade route. Now, while I may sound like I am whining... the fact that I walked last night apparently kept me from lying in a fetal position all day today because my legs are sore. It seems that two weeks in China and bringing a three-year old home tends to put a damper on your training.

Yes as I finished I said never, ever again. This is so stupid after 6 miles I really don't enjoy it. Still, I'm glad I did it. If we were still going to be in Memphis next year, I'd probably do it again. Lucky for me, we won't be in Memphis this time next year.

I owe Ray a big thank you. He was pushy but not too pushy. I really didn't train this year like I did last year. Still, almost one minute off of every mile since last year is good enough to take it. I would love to be one of those speed demons, realistically I don't have it any me right now... maybe when I get everyone in school but I'll be too dang old by then.

Thanks to Nana and Papa too. They were just in South Carolina at Uncle Mike's for Thanksgiving but still came to help herd children through a marathon and a holiday parade. I'm pretty sure they left feeling like they'd been put through their own version of an Iron Man.

Then there's Arleigh... Arleigh who gets frustrated that I don't talk about her much. She really stepped up to help Nana out while we were out of pocket for a couple of hours. She apparently changed a pretty nasty diaper, made sure Jack's oatmeal was just how he likes it, fed him and made sure he was happy. Hanan worked hard too as the big sister's able bodied assistant fetching pull ups and taking the nasty stuff out to the trash. Thanks girls for being there when Mama needed you!

And now I'm ready for the Christmas rush. If I can get through this weekend, I'm pretty sure I can get through anything.

The Cookie Monsters

2011-12-02T06:30:00.001-06:00

We got back late Sunday night. My week has included trying to decorate for Christmas,(notice I said trying,) taking Bria and Jack to the dentist, spending a litte over two hours at the social security office (in Memphis that means hot, crowded, wreaking of beer and smoke and very entertaining) and a drive to downtown to pick up race numbers because for some stupid reason I signed up for another half. II also desperately need to clean the house because Nana and Papa are coming to watch the kids during the race.

Clearly it's time to lighten things up around here. Last night I rushed off to Girl Scouts with Arleigh and Hanan. All the moms were supposed to stay to make scarves for the Christmas parade. I didn't mention? After the half I'm walking in the parade with the big girls... I think I'm ready for this week to be over! Anyway, while I was folding scarves Ray sent this video. He helped a bunch by having Bria and Jack get a jump start on some cookies. I'm really not sure how much dough was left by the time I got home... And no worries no raw eggs are in this recipe.

What Is Wrong With People?

2011-12-01T06:42:00.001-06:00

Clearly, I'm not waiting long past my 30 days of thankfulness to gripe and moan. I've been thinking about this since Thanksgiving... and yesterday... set me off a bit.

I was in Toys 'R Us with Bria and Jack after taking them to the dentist. They were both a little worse for the wear, but I needed to get some legos while they were on sale for my nephew for Christmas. I decided to check out some video games because I saw a 50% off sign. The sale was only good if you bought some pretty graphic games. As I waited to ask, I heard a lady ask for a particular game. This is the conversation that follows.

"Is this a gift?"
"Yes, for my son."
"How old is he?
"He's nine."
"I have to tell you this is a very mature game, did you notice the rating."
"I saw." At this point she is laughing nervously. "Look, I don't care about the violence. He already has Grand Theft Auto and this is what he wants for Christmas."
"I understand that. But did you know there is also nudity in this game?"
She looked surprised and shook her head. "The characters can purchase Playboy and look at it. Do you still want it."

Thankfully, she didn't buy it. The guy next to me just stood there shaking his head. All I could think is, we live in Memphis, a town known for violence and an extremely high crime rate. I guess I no longer need to wonder why.

In the past year I have been constantly surprised at the lack of character in people's decisions. Over Thanksgiving, I got to spend some time with my brother. I've avoided talking about his situation here and on Facebook because heaven forbid it be used against me or him. Plus, I absolutely hate it when people post vague descriptions of their family drama in the status updates, things that I shouldn't know anyway but now you're being so vague you want me to ask.

Anyway, my brother is going through a divorce. It's not that ugly. It's the before the divorce that shocks me.

My sister-in-law insisted that he buy a new house for them to get married because she just couldn't live in our home town. She insisted on brand new appliances including a washer and dryer. I honestly think that when she married Tye, she thought he would move to IL. If he did that, he would have lost his retirement. In hindsight, I'm sure there are two sides to every story. I know that living with Tye is no picnic, but some of the things she did makes me scratch my head. Here are a few examples.

She took a job in another state when her marriage was clearly in trouble.
When Tye had surgery on the Friday of a long holiday weekend, no only did she not take off work to come on that Friday, she didn't come home on that long weekend at all. (This should have possibly clued Tye in a bit.)
She called him on the phone when he was at a conference to let him know she wanted a divorce and finally came to town to get a few things while he was 800 miles away.
She is living with her a mother, owns a home that Tye bought appliances for and is being rented out. Still, she took the new washer and dryer, almost all of the furniture, every last bit of silverware...you get the picture. He came home opened a can of chili and would have to eat it out of the can with his fingers.

Most all of this happened over the course of Ray and I being in China. Tye was recovering from his surgery so he showed up to help Mom with the girls for a little while. We went to China thinking Julie would be at the airport when we got home. We came home hoping that she wouldn't be or after that long flight I might have acted a little less than Christian.

Here's the thing. Julie is a sweet girl. Arleigh, Hanan and Bria love her and being around her. I can't fathom who would be encouraging her to make the decisions that she is making other than the fact that she wanted a wedding and never really wanted to be married. This is no junior high. You took a vow before God, do overs shouldn't come so easily.

While we were home, Ray and I took a very brief drive to look at some land. It's also a good time to talk. I am constantly shocked at home some children behave. Now that we have a boy who is around other boys, I'm a little concerned. When does rough housing go too far? Recently I was wondering if some parents were waiting for blood or broken ribs to call it off. How do I teach Jack to have a kind and gentle heart when his friends are pummeling him and I want to teach him to fight back?

Then there is the entitlement, greed and materialism factor that seems to be hovering over my head. If I struggle with it, how do I help the kids? How do I help them do anything good when moms are buying things like Grand Theft Auto for their kids and my kids have to socialize with them? I can't leave it to the church to teach them... so what do you do?

Sorry for the rant. Clearly it's been weighing on me for a while.

Thankful 27-28-30

2011-11-30T07:25:00.001-06:00

I'm am refusing to give up on my 30 Thankful posts...even if I have to combine the last few.

27 - I'm thankful that this boy...

has gained almost nine pounds in the past two months and he's standing almost 2 inches taller. He's pretty cute too.

28 - I'm thankful that Ray stuck with it and helped Hanan with her Math even when I was ready to send her to her room and possibly hit Ray. Math is not my favorite subject. It's hard for me and it's hard for Hanan too. I'm thankful that Ray is her to help her out and her grade is coming up with his persistence.

30 - I'm very thankful that our family is now complete. We seem to be slowly shifting into a new phase. While I miss my babies, the tween years are pretty great too. The girls are growing into beautiful young ladies. Bria is stepping up and trying to mother Jack after four years of being smothered with the mothering of her sisters. Jack is a joy to have around. We still have bumps but I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter what stage you're at, the bumps make it interesting.

The Peek A Bug Whisperer

2011-11-30T07:13:00.001-06:00

Bria has always had a fascination with Lady Bugs, AKA Peek A Bugs. I have probably mentioned it before. Her last two birthday parties had a Peek A Bug theme. I seriously say Peek A Bug instead of Lady Bug all the time, even to adults. It's weird. We also had a problem when Bria was studying the letter "L" at school. It was very confusing to her how Peek A Bug could start with an L. It's a problem.

A couple of weeks ago Bria participated in a Thanksgiving Feast at school. The school set aside a time for the kids to participate in a feast and hopefully try some new foods. I wasn't there. Insert a sad face because there are no pictures. She did come home with a feathered headband and a new Indian name. The back of her headband said, "Peek A Bug Whisperer." So fitting. Thank you Miss Kristin!

This weekend at Grandma's Bria was living up to that name. There were Peek A Bugs everywhere and every one was a pet. I'm sure when we left they were a little worse for the wear.

Update On Thankful 26

2011-11-29T11:54:00.001-06:00

I'm back dating my thankful post. I missed number 26 but today... I have reason to rejoice. I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time. I was leaving Wal-Mart. An older gentleman was making use of one of the electronic carts. Bria was at school so it was just me and Jack. This gentleman was very friendly, engaging Jack trying to get him to talk. As we were walking out the door he went ahead of me. I was smiling thinking how nice it was to see a friendly face in Wal-Mart.

It was about mid thought that the door greeter ran to the gentleman telling him that he couldn't take the electronic cart outside. He kept inching along. She repeated the statement. Then I heard his turn and with a grin he said, "Watch me!"

I swear he was giggling as he tried to gun the cart. It wasn't going very fast but too fast for the elderly door greeter to catch him. I was trying so hard not to laugh as I explained I didn't know him. Plus, it was an effort not to pee my pants I was laughing so hard as I got to my van. He parked it nicely... right outside the entrance. I love Memphis!

Happy Thanksgiving 29

2011-11-29T07:09:00.001-06:00

Lots to be thankful for about our trip home for Thanksgiving. It started with a slow crawl down I-40. It was so slow in fact, that we decided to take a little known back road it typically adds fifteen minutes but at that point, we thought traffic might be backed up for miles. Thirty minutes later I took the next exit only to be stopped by a line of police cars. Then we saw this

This is the newspapers photo, not mine. You could literally see the front of the truck peeking out the back of the building. In other news, the owner of that red car is okay, he stepped out of the car moments before. He forgot to take his gun out of his luggage though when he went to the airport. Poor man was processed through 201 Poplar and is facing charges. I actually hope they cut him a break. I might forget too if a semi had missed me by inches. I am thankful we missed this and whatever happened ahead of us on the interstate.

I love the drive home. Dave...if you are reading, we thought about you. We saw a repossessed mobile home dealer who would also sell parts. It was raining and I missed the picture.

Speaking of missed pictures... every time we get on the mule I take my phone or my camera, most often my camera. Mr. Jack loves the mule and bouncing. I didn't grab either for our last right. We bumped into a neighbor who just happened to have a saddle blanket and horses who were having their dinner. All three girls rode bareback. I have never ridden bareback. The funnier part of the story was when the sweet guy asked who was going first, Arleigh and Hanan both pointed to Bria. They weren't being sweet... let the little one take the licks first so we can see just how scary it is. Hanan was second. Jack is too nervous around animals to even think of putting him up there. He watched from the mule with Grandma.

We managed to have a big dinner with Tye. Then we had Thanksgiving with the Wheelers (my Mom's family). Ray and Arleigh got a little time out for a movie while the rest of us shopped. We looked at land for retirement. I loved the location...out in the country enough, close enough to the lake and no curvy roads. We had dinner out with Nana Bonnie, Nana Bonnie's Don and Tye. Arleigh and Hanan spent the night with Nana Bonnie. I'm not sure if she's recovered yet. They apparently laughed all night. Then we went to church and had lunch with the Kendalls. Jack happily played with anyone who would play with him while the girls pretty much went from room to room shrieking with their cousins. I almost forgot... Ray made Jack a train table with Grandpa's scraps while we were there. It was a busy long weekend.

Here are some pictures of the highlights. I'm thankful for everyone there and that we got to come home for a Thanksgiving. I hope it isn't another 15 years before we get to do that again.

I'm also well aware that Arleigh and Hanan seem absent. Apparently they've reached an age when they run off by themselves, especially when there is a farm and it's warm enough to be outside. So.... at Christmas I plan on being very diligent about taking their pictures.

2011-11-28T08:02:00.001-06:00

I realize that I am way behind on my thankful posts and I'm skipping around. I wanted to get this down before I forgot or got busy with life. For some reason, that tends to happen around here.

Yesterday we went to church with Grandma and Grandpa. We were later than usual which means, really late slipping into our usual seats close to the front just as the church services were starting. It's a little white church out in the woods. I noticed that there were thirty something people at a midweek service and 40 something people at a Sunday evening service. It is small. It is cozy. It's not what I grew up with but there is something soothing about sliding into those wooden pews. Because there are so many of us, we take up two now. Ray jokes that when we are in town their attendance jumps 25% if we all show up. I love it.

As we sat yesterday listening to Kenny preach, the crowd engaged him. There was a little talk of deer hunting and taunting about the missed buck from the crowd. At one point he talked about how joyful my Miss Bettye (my step grandmother) is and asked her why she is joyful. Of course my mother joked that any lack of joy is due to something Grandpa did. We laughed. When the service was over, we were back in the car and I was asking Ray if he had ever been to a service where people talked back to the preacher...about hunting. I thought it might throw the current preacher at our church for a loop. Either way, we enjoyed it.

Kenny's sermon was on materialism. He mentioned that even when we are giving, it could be more about materialism than what the gift should be about. I think that is so true. I grew up with my parents wanting more for me than what they had because that's what they learned from their parents. I want my kids to be happy as adults. I want their needs met. I've learned that the giant house and things isn't where that comes from. I also admit that I still struggle with wanting. In fact, I told Ray of course I would love to live in that giant old home this weekend. He said I thought you didn't want stuff anymore. I told him I still want it, a lot of it I just know I don't need it now. I must admit that the big white house with porches all the way around and lots of room to roam is something I sometimes covet.

Anyway, we were talking about some of the books and things we've read recently that have convinced us that we need to be a little more diligent at steering the kiddos away from materialism and toward service to others and some of their key points. I'm certain I talked about each book when I finished them, but since people are making lists and checking them twice, I thought I might list them again.

Here goes...Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by Tom Davis

Fields of the Fatherless: Discover the Joy of Compassionate Living By Tom Davis

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Frances Chan

One Hundred Million Arrows by Julie Ferwerda

The Mission Minded Family by Ann Dunagan

Radical By David Platt

I'm sure there are many more. If you have suggestions, I would love to add them to my Christmas wish list. If you are going to pick a place to start, I suggest Fields of the Fatherless. It's an easy and very convicting read.

If you have suggestions to help me keep my kids from being entitled little brats, I would love to hear that too. It's something we are constantly working and recalibrating. Please tell me other people are dealing with this too. It would make me feel much, much better!

And today's thankful... is for a lesson on Materialism because I constantly need the reminder.

Thankful Day 25

2011-11-25T22:55:00.001-06:00

I'm thankful that we found this picture while decorating for Christmas. I'm thankful that I was in high school and wasn't forced to pose with Tye and Mickey. I'm so thankful that I have it to hold over him forever.

Thankful for Thanksgiving (24)

2011-11-24T15:40:00.001-06:00

Today I am so thankful to be with my family in my hometown. I'm really not sure how it happens but I cross that county line and my makeup, hairspray and accent all magically get a little thicker. The roads get a little curvier and after dinner my hips probably will too.

I'm thankful that almost my whole family is here. Miss you Sann, Evie, Tori and Phia! It has been exactly 15 years since we've been together for Thanksgiving. I've tried to recreate it over the years with cornbread dressing and Gran's broccoli rice casserole. It's just not the same without Wendy proclaiming it, "The best Thanksgiving ever!" or Uncle Jim Saying it's time to leave 5 minutes after the dishes are cleared.

This is also Jack's first Thanksgiving. We are certainly thankful that he is finally home to celebrate with us. I'm pretty sure that he is just as thankful to have us around. Since I very rarely ever cook turkey, I'm pretty sure this will be his first bite of the all American bird. Hope he isa bigger fan than I am!

I hope you are surrounded my the ones you love today. Happy Thanksgiving!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thankful Day 23

2011-11-23T04:00:00.000-06:00

Child labor...need I say more?

Yes, I probably do. I hope you realize I use that term tongue in cheek. I'm thankful that my children are learning to have a work ethic. (Notice I said learning sometimes we all fail miserably.) They are helping me out and learning how to take care of themselves.

And yes, there is an actual seat missing from the Mom Mobile. That's a whole other post.

Ditto

2011-11-22T09:28:00.001-06:00

I've been in a stressed out funk. I try not to let on but it was apparently showing on Saturday night when our friends were here. I mentioned that I felt flustered. Ginny said, "You look like you are." It caused me to stop and wonder what is making me so crazy. Time to turn it over.

Jack is doing so great. He is jumping off two feet now... the boy who didn't want to walk across a room is jumping off of two feet. He is also trying to put puzzles together with Bria, making ornate lego constructions, taking things apart and acting like a spoiled toddler. Even the spoiled toddler attitude is progress. I'll take it. While I should be thinking about that, I wonder about his eyes. We are working on a referral to a pediatric opthamologist. I also worry a bit about his speech and lack of vocabulary. I am also well aware of his weird head shape and his pediatrician mentioning an MRI come the first of the year. He fell recently...right on his head hard. I grabbed him and because he hasn't been with me forever I couldn't tell if I was feeling his knotty head or a new knot. Between the lumps and his screams, I was scared to death. He got over the fall and showed just how attached he is, something else I sometimes worry about. Just when my worry hits a fevered pitch, Jack does something out of the box. Again, I need to remember to take what I can get.

We've had two weekends of having tons of people in our house. Usually it doesn't frazzle me. I guess this weekend, it must have a little. I think it was because I had big plans of a moving night to teach my children to fight poverty. I didn't feel like I was hitting my expectations.

I can't decide if Bria is acting like Bria or feeling displaced. There is a fine line in the sand right between comfort and coddle. I feel like I'm constantly walking the fence.

Arleigh is a tween. I've said enough.

Hanan is caught between wanting to be a little girl and growing up into a tween. It's a hard place to be. It's also a hard place to parent. I don't want her to grow up to fast but she also needs to learn maturity. Seriously, where is the manual? I keep asking and no one ever produces it.

And parenting issues aside, it's not even Thanksgiving and I am over Christmas. We have too much. The girls can't make lists out big enough for everyone asking and they don't even know what they want because they already have so much. Jack has no idea what is out there. He just got so much. He can't tell us what he would really like to have. If you walk him through a toy aisle, he is either excited over everything that makes noise or really overwhelmed. The same could be said about me.

I'm over being antsy about holiday schedules and decorating and when it's appropriate to decorate. (That is directed squarely at Ray. I love you Ray!) I'm letting it go. I am going to enjoy Jack's first Christmas at home. I've washed my hands of lists and schedules. We are going to do what we can but make sure that it's about family first.

All that said and I saw this picture this morning. It made me laugh. I wish I could do this to our house with the runway lights I see on everyone's sidewalks.

Here's to letting go and doing your own thing and remembering why we are celebrating in the first place.

Thankful Day 22

2011-11-22T07:08:00.001-06:00

On Saturday night we had friends over. We ate oatmeal because it was as close as I could get to porridge or congee or that sort of thing and talked to our kids about kids who have less. They wrote letters to children that we don't know telling them that Jesus loves them and so do we. We filled boxes with toys and candy and notes and packed them up for Operation Christmas Child. Bria, Jack and I delivered the boxes to a church yesterday afternoon.

I'm thankful to our friends who joined us. I'm thankful for the opportunity to teach the kids (still weird not saying girls) about the needs people have all over the world. I'm thankful for a moment to stop and remember with everyone else just how blessed we are.

Thankful 21

2011-11-21T14:09:00.001-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, we were blessed beyond measure. Our church through Jack a Welcome Home Shower.

I immediately teared up when I walked in because this frame was sitting on the table. It's a picture of Bria's Sunday School class, the class mentioned in this post. In case you can't read the frame, it says, "For this child we prayed...Jack"

The only reason you are seeing this picture of me wiping Bria's face and explaining I'm sure that this was Jack's special day... is because it's the only one where you can see the decorations. They were so cute and so Jack. There were race flags and cars everywhere. Arleigh was my photographer and clearly she is not as picture happy as her Mama. We'll work on that.

The backhoe... I have nothing more to say since I hear it running 24/7. It has to be put on a high shelf for sleeping. He is truly a boy after his Daddy's heart with a haircut to match.

I've had a baby shower for every one of my kiddos. This one was different, clearly because Jack was there. I have never been so teared up. A quilt made by sweet, sweet people that can help with his language, the picture frame... And one moment so special I wish I had it on video. One special lady followed us all the way through this adoption, always asking about Jack and offering to pray. She was sitting right there on the front row. Jack opened a Lightening McQueen, squealed and jumped and started saying, "Thank You!" as only Jack can. He's still not really speaking much. I looked up and saw tears in her eyes she so wanted to please him. She sure did!

We are now outfitted in Cars 2 and plaid shirts, which we love! Bria and Jack have played all day. We have computers that match Brias (hooray for no more fighting over turns!) and lots of underwear that I hope he wears very, very soon.

I am so thankful to our church family. They have clearly been very invested in Jack's adoption, praying for his transition and for delays to stop. I was feeling conflicted about the shower. He is child number 4, so many people have passed down clothes and toys. After seeing the needs of the kids in his orphanage, I was torn thinking maybe I should be sending things there instead. Seeing the joy on Jack's face when he got to open things that are his and seeing the joy on the sweet ladies' faces when he was so excited, totally took all that away. Sometimes you just need to stop being a blessing blocker.

Thank you Great Oaks family for the wonderful blessing that you are!

A Weekend Of Thankful (18, 19, 20)

2011-11-20T20:54:00.001-06:00

Yep, failing miserably with the daily posting... Sorry. Life happened.

So for 18 I am so very thankful for our schools Veteran's Day Celebration. It's a little late but oh so sweet. I love this photo of Hanan's shadow. I caught it during the parade.

For 19... I am so thankful that these ladies made it for the Veteran's Day program... and a few extra days. I have a ball with them and laugh so hard. The kiddos have a pretty good time when they're around too.

For 20... I am so thankful to read this post. I am so happy to know there is one less and little Will is finally home where he belongs.

I'm also thankful that four kids are in bed and I'm not far behind them.

Thankful Day 17

2011-11-17T21:38:00.001-06:00

These girls. A race, all be it a small one. A run with their parents. Medals and smiles when it was over. I'm thankful for every second of it.

I Love/Hate Facebook

2011-11-16T06:52:00.001-06:00

I was really irritated with Facebook last week. Now, I can't even remember why. Yesterday, a friend copied from an article that she read discussing how the passive aggressive comments used in social media is a new weapon of mass destruction and how had George Bush only known... Then I thought about it. Facebook is hard because the person could be passive aggressive or it could be a bunch of other stuff is happening on the other side of the computer screen that I have no way of knowing about because I only read a status from my phone in the car line. Too much brain power before I've had my diet Sun Drop.

So here's my love/hate relationship

I love that I can live vicariously through other people. I hate that I feel the need to live vicariously through other people and not go out there and do it myself.

I love seeing photos of people I knew from way back when. I hate seeing photos of people I knew from way back when and then saying, "Do I look that old?" or "How on earth do they look that good?" I am constantly comparing.

I love that I can stay in touch with my navy friends all over the world. I hate that go into a grief mode every time someone moves and it seems like they are moving even further away.

I love being able to chat with people that I don't normally get to have a conversation with. I hate it when someone that I could and often do talk to on a daily basis says something to me on Facebook that they wouldn't say to me in person. Is it for attention? Are they being passive aggressive? Am I over analyzing? The answer to every question is yes...

I love that sometimes I feel like a peeping tom. I hate that sometimes I feel like a peeping tom.

I love to get a ding on my phone and hear from someone I haven't talked to in a long time. I hate to get a ding on my phone with a Farmville request. I do not play Farmville! I have never played Farmville! How do I turn that crap off anyway?

I love it when I finally figure out the "new" Facebook. I hate that just when I figure it out another "new" Facebook is launched.

I love that I can live in my own little happy Facebook world where people are generally nice. I hate that my kids are going to start asking to get on Facebook and I wonder if they will be strong enough to hide the mean people or ignore them. I hate that there is an evil side to social media where bad people stalk like a lion looking for the injured animal to run down first.

I love that I can stay in touch with my family. I hate that I have to stay in touch with my family via social networking on a computer.

I love that I know when everyone is putting up their Christmas tree and all the people who refuse to put it up early. I hate the pressure I feel because of this to put up a tree to to wait.

I love that could go on and on. I hate that could go on and on about something so very silly.

What do you love/hate about Facebook?

Thankful Day 16

2011-11-16T06:37:00.001-06:00

This weekend we had missionaries visit our home. I am truly thankful for all that they do. Their visit and my children's behavior prompted parenting talk that revolved around chores, schedules, attitudes of entitlement, excess... things like that. Do ~~my kids~~ we have so much that it has become too difficult to take care of what we are blessed with or is it just a big old case of the lazies with a dose of apathy? Honestly, I think this is something I will struggle with until the day I die.

In the midst of the discussions about what to do to train our children, Ray got a note. Someone from work almost lost their fourteen year old daughter to a suicide attempt. I'm not sure if that quickly backed the train up to put life into perspective or gave me one more thing to worry about... most likely both. It made for a long and difficult Monday. Where is that darn parenting handbook when you need it?

I have a long list of things to grateful for today...

All the been there done that parents that comment. Thank you.
Grandma and Nana Bonnie are on their way this morning so that they can be here for Arleigh and Hanan's Veteran's Day Glee performance. They are awesome.
A good night's sleep... everyone slept through the night last night, including me.
The Pioneer Woman's blog... because dinner will be provided from her recipes this evening.
Gary and Jen Reeves... who deserve their own post. They are missionaries in Peru. I stood totally amazed as Gary told his story to Ray. He grew up in foster care, adopted at 16 and went off to the army. Now he is living in Peru developing relationships and teaching others about Jesus. They have been there for two years and plan to stay at least 10. If you are looking for something to do... he really needs support for a medical campaign.
My kids... so often I'm focused on behavior that I desperately want to correct... usually some horrible habit picked up from their mother... that I often forget how great they are.
Interim school reports... They were good!!!

I better stop or I won't have much to say tomorrow. (wink wink nudge nudge)

Thankful Day 15

2011-11-15T13:21:00.001-06:00

Yes, I missed 14. Here's the deal. Today I am thankful that this blog has been hijacked. I'm also incredibly blessed by the one who hijacked it. Two posts in two days? Careful folks... the end may be near.

Seriously, I'm thankful to be reminded that the head of our household feels so blessed. I'm thankful that I got lucky enough to marry him.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughters

2011-11-15T11:10:00.001-06:00

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two :
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three :
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four :
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five :
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six :
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven :
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight :
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine :
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten :
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

What I Am Thankful For...

2011-11-14T17:51:00.001-06:00

In my short 40 years on this earth, I have had the opportunity to experience many things. The Good Lord has blessed me beyond measure with health, family, love, talents and has placed mountains in front of me at times so that I can enjoy the euphoria of making it to the peak - and also to remind me what it like to be in the valley. Many times we fail to appreciate what is great in this life; the little things that keep us moving forward. We often get so busy in the race that we truly stop to take in the beauty that is around us. I had one of those moments this weekend after returning from a trip to Italy where I saw the majesty of God's hand, enjoyed food beyond words and catching up with old friends - all as part of my job.

My beautiful wife, whom is the keeper of this blog, has been taking a moment each day and putting into words something she is thankful for. She inspired me to stop the race for moment and focus on the wonderful things that surround me every day, most of which I don't always acknowledge. So if you will indulge me, I would like to outline a few things I am thankful for:

- God and His infinite wisdom. Why do we always think we know better than the One who created us?
- My beautiful wife and the mother of my children. Words cannot do the justice deserved.
- My wonderful children and how they teach me to be a better man.
- The family unit.
- My health and well being. Too many times we fail to humble ourselves to realize we are truly blessed.
- My job which gives me a sense of purpose. I love getting up every day and going to work. How great is that?
- B, who has always been by my side, whether at sea, overseas or in the desert. She is firm and steady and I couldn't do it without her.
- Laughter of my kids. It is so contagious and makes me feel alive.
- Our country. What a place we live in.
- My parents and brother.
- My mother-in-law.
- B, who loves me unconditionally.
- Our home.
- Arleigh, Hanan and Bria's humble, caring hearts.
- Jack, who has taught me that life is more than a destination.
- B, who makes our house a home. Her love is the glue that holds our crazy lives together.

This is just a small smattering but a common theme is nothing has to do with "things". To be clear, I am grateful for a warm bed, my truck, my Apple toys, etc, but those don't have meaning. But how many times do we give appreciation to those "things" in our life instead of what really matters? If we are honest with ourselves, the answer is many. Take time out today to thank those whom you love; who inspire you; who love you no matter what you do or say. Life is journey; take time and be thankful for the road traveled.

Thankful Day 13

2011-11-13T20:08:00.001-06:00

I am thankful that I got to spend time with my beautiful family this weekend. I'm also thankful that our long weekend is coming to an end. It's been crazy nuts around here. I'm skating in with this thankful post by the skin of my teeth. I did stop to remember today that I am blessed beyond measure.

Thankful Day 12

2011-11-12T22:17:00.001-06:00

I am thankful to be the proud owner of the very best dog in the world. Seriously... he just sat there and let some strange kid bounce on him, ride on him and pull his ears. Tucker, we love you!

Bria And Charles

2011-11-12T21:57:00.001-06:00

This is Bria...

This is Charles. Please try to ignore the fact that he is in fact wearing Bria's clothes. Long story but I'm really glad that I have this picture to use as leverage just in case. I'm getting to that...

Bria and Charles go way back...

Like to the sandbox back...

This is one of my favorite way back photos. I love how Charles is explaining exactly how long...

This is the Christmas card picture in which Bria is sporting a black eye courtesy of Charles.

This would be the most recent picture I have of Bria and Charles, taken in the dark in the museum that houses all of Elvis' old cars at Graceland. Notice how it's blurred... because neither of them could be still.

It's been nearly two years since we've lived in the same vicinity as Charles. In the past two years, they were able to visit for a long weekend. We've skyped. We haven't seen them in what seems like forever. You can imagine how surprised I was to hear this conversation this morning.

Bria and Ray were discussing a gathering that would be happening at our house.

Bria: Is Edison coming?
Ray: No honey, Edison's family had other plans.
Bria: I really wanted Edison to come.
Ray: Do I need to have a chat with Mr. Edison? Is he your boyfriend?
Bria: NOOOOOOO Daddy! Charles is my boyfriend!!!

I am in serious, serious trouble. Bria and Charles together just means TROUBLE. The stuff these two got into together as babies and knowing what they've gotten into separately as they aged from 2 to 4 in the blink of an eye. Oh my word! On the bright side, together they might just have enough power to rule the world. I'm not sure what she would do about the name thing though... Bria Stiff Babcock just does not sound right.

Thankful Day 11

2011-11-11T17:01:00.001-06:00

Today I am thankful for all of our country's veterans and all of their sacrifices. I'm also very grateful that we were able to have a day to spend with our very favorite veteran at home.

I hope you take a minute on this eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year to say thank you to a veteran is always present to secure our freedom in the eleventh hour.

Thankful Day 10

2011-11-10T18:34:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for my brother because clearly he was put on this earth to entertain me...

An Answered Prayer

2011-11-09T09:03:00.000-06:00

This morning rushing to get the girls to their fitness club while fixing lunches and monitoring a morning routine, I was bothered. All the little things that add up to a boiling point were there. All the things that kids can do... all of them that make you question your parenting skills. When they are not responsible for their things, snarky, fighting amongst themselves, selfish, lazy, unorganized, you know, displaying all the traits I hate most about myself when I let them boil to the surface. One of the my pet peeves, the worst possible trait... acting entitled. Oh my word. I drove them to their fitness club telling them that I wasn't sure what was going to change but things have to change. Could be that I've been single parenting for over a week too. I drove back home with Bria asking 10,000 questions just like usual with my brain addled with ideas. How do I get them to not act that way if I find myself acting that way? I'm trying to change them and I'm having problems with the same stuff.

Anyway... bad morning.

Then my phone dinged... you've been tagged. (Look for another post about my love hate relationship with Facebook and it's dings later.) It was a note from Jack's Bible school teacher.

Last year, Ms. Roberta taught Bria. I'm amazed at her class. She loves on those kids. They listen to her. She really gets them to understand The Bible, prayer and praising God. She is blessed with a gift to teach three-year olds. She is also a published writer. Recently she started a blog. Jack and Bria were featured this morning.

Suddenly I realized that Orphan Sunday was Jack's first time in her Bible class. I think of all the weeks and months that Bria sat in the class and prayed and prayed for him to come home. I'm glad I didn't put everything together as I watched him from the back of the classroom on Sunday. It was hard enough not to cry thinking about his first time there. Roberta did a wonderful job of commemorating that Sunday on her blog.

Pay her a visit. Please leave her a comment and tell her that I sent you. I'm sure you'll love what she's writing about... my kids. Check out I Write....Therefore I Blog.

Now I'm off to get off my lazy bum and be a better example. I hate it when that happens.

Thankful Day 9

2011-11-09T04:00:00.001-06:00

I am thankful that these two have each other.

For very different reasons, they each remind me of a quote from A Mid Summer Night's Dream, "And though she be but little, she is fierce."

Hanan is my artist. She can be quiet but she is also quietly strong, reserving her courage to help the least of these. Her heart for the people who hurt always amazes. When she was two, she told me that she didn't need a prince, she would slay her own dragons. Already I imagine her growing up to slay other people's dragons for them.

Unfortunately, Bria is not the downtrodden. She is in fact strong willed out of the gate. For this reason alone, she is often the object of Hanan's wrath and Hanan is the object of hers. We've called Bria Napoleon and the bull, um forever. It's her way or the highway no matter how much I try to knock it out of her. She does everything big in her own Bria fashion. She learned early that her sisters were older, she needed to be loud and aggressive to get their attention and get their attention she does.

Bria and Hanan together can be like oil and vinegar. When you first put them in the bottle, you think there is no way it's going to mix. Throw in some spice (like Arleigh and Jack) and shake them up and it's perfect. Funny how God plans things.

I'm also very thankful for my camera. I don't want to forget this.

And yes, I see the future with all the sisters helping each other get ready for dates, proms and weddings a little too well. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day." I think about that then.

Thankful Day 8

2011-11-08T04:00:00.000-06:00

A boy.

A bed made for a boy by his Daddy.

The boy finally sleeping in the bed.

I'm really thankful to say good-bye hand me down pack-n-play, bought at a pack out sale in Iceland for $10, we've certainly gotten our money's worth but it was time for him to sleep in a real bed. Let's home he doesn't slide right out!

Thankful Day 7

2011-11-07T04:00:00.000-06:00

I know the picture isn't great but it shows what I'm thankful for... she was running at me. I'm thankful for the sweet kisses of all four. It's much easier to appreciate after being away from the princesses for a little over two weeks. I missed our bedtime routine so much. A goodnight kiss is about all I get from Arleigh now.

What am I going to do when they go to college? I'm dreading it already!

Dear Ray

2011-11-06T22:26:00.001-06:00

Dear Ray,

I really really hate it when you're gone. My disgruntledness at your absence is mostly selfish, like the way I don't sleep. I can't call you whenever I want to tell you about your children's shenanigans or my brother's. No worries, nothing has happened with Tye this week. There is no one else to get frustrated and drag out the vacuum, although Arleigh may be close to it. The dog won't scoot over like you do. Generally, we miss you.

Since we can't talk on the phone every night while you're away and you don't have the same insight into yahoo news that I do, I thought I would write you a note to let you know what's happening.

Alabama lost. So did the Titans. Shocking right? The tickets went unused and I think it bugs me more than it does you. I'm glad I didn't watch it happen live.

Andy Rooney died. That makes me sad even though we only watched him when football caused the DVR to record 60 minutes instead of The Amazing Race.

Sophie has a boyfriend. Hanan doesn't know him but I'm pretty sure he was at the party. Time to move!

Jack has discovered the scooter. Might be time to purchase one that doesn't include princesses or fairies. He also went to Bible class, twice. He made it through the ice cream social without meltdown. The potty stuff is still crap...literally. He and Bria are also loving the balls in the living room because it was rainy for a bit. Speaking of that, it might be time to hide the balls because I'm not sure the living room can take much more. For such short legs, he has quite the kick.

Arleigh and Hanan survived Uncle Tom's Farm. I hate sending them places by themselves. I almost didn't survive considering the caravan was a half hour late and they were in other people's cars and Bria had to potty in the parking lot. Watching all the split panty potty tricks in China came in handy...and thankfully it was very dark.

The Christmas lists are coming. Arleigh doesn't want anything that doesn't involve the word Teen, Bike or Apple. It can also start with the a small i. She would like to discuss cell phone plans but thankfully she's too afraid of my wrath to bring it up. Hanan's lists consists of several preschool toys. I don't want her to grow up too fast but I'm wondering how many pillow pets and blankets that look like animals that she needs. It might be time to introduce her to the wonderful world of photography that she keeps mentioning. Bria wants IT ALL! Jack... something that isn't pink and doesn't have the word or fairy or princess would be nice. I'm thinking he might need his own tractor to drive around or a train table. Did I mention that Life Is Good sweat suit? You know, in case you were wondering about my list.

We're working on our thankful tree. Bria should have the house spotless by tomorrow. I've decided she whines just to get a chore out of the jar and then whines because it's not the chore she wants. Go team! Good news is, big girls don't whine within earshot. Jack doesn't know how yet. I'm sure Bria is working on that though.

Jack thinks he has mastered the stairs. I think he's still a bit top heavy. Luckily he gets nervous after step four.

Pretty sure Tucker killed a mole. I can't find it. I'm not trying very hard either. You have that to look forward to when you get home.

Fall bins are all put away. Against my better judgement, I'm pulling the Christmas bins out early. Never fear, I promised myself that I would scrub the house first. At this rate they can come out after our next move.

Every week until Christmas is already over scheduled in case you were wondering.

We miss you. Wish you were here so you would hear it all first hand. I know you're enjoying it where you're at but if you get the chance, come home soon. We love you!

Always,
B

Orphan Sunday Conflictions

2011-11-06T13:27:00.002-06:00

For the past few months, I've had a lot of restraint when it comes to this blog. Shocking! I know! Several different things with several different people family and not are happening around me. I would like nothing more than to let a few of them have it full force, or at the very least climb up on my soapbox. Like I said, restraint. It is shocking just ask my mother. Today, I'm loosening the ropes on one of those subjects.

You see, as an adoptive family there are times that I think that everyone is convinced that I'm twisting their arm to try to get them or someone else to adopt. While hearing about other families adopting sends me over the moon, I'm not trying to convince anyone about what God has in store for them. In fact, if you must know I'm generally pulling up my boot straps to deal with our own junk and not really thinking about yours. If someone asks me about adoption, I'm happy to talk about it and point them in the right direction, but I try not to bring it up out of my own weird fear that someone will think I've gone off the deep end. I have but that's a whole other blog post.

All that to say, today is different. Many churches and other organizations designate today as Orphan Sunday. Our church is not one of them. That's okay. Really because with over 147 million orphans world wide, if you are a Christian you should be thinking of something to do every day, not one Sunday a year. Still, there is this boy in our house that reminds me still daily what his life would have been like. It's hard to let a day called Orphan Sunday pass without thinking about it or doing something.

This morning I took each of the girls hands and wrote 147 in sharpie. It sticks. I told them the world has 147 million orphans. The Bible says it's our responsibility...not just Jack but all of them. The one thing that we can do for all of them is pray. A friend started a campaign recently. My phone alarm goes off every day at 1:47 p.m. When it goes off I pray for the orphan, sometimes a specific one, more often that God sees fit to reduce the number through His church. Some days I write 147 on my hand so that when people ask, I can tell them. Today it was on the girls hands too. A few people asked. We got many different responses. I'm glad to have a door that opens for people to ask.

During Oct. and Nov. our church has planned specific fellowships. Tonight is one of them. We'll be having an ice cream social at about the time there is a webcast in honor of Orphan Sunday. While we are acting like gluttons on homemade ice cream and some of the best southern desserts, others will be praying and trying to find a way to make a difference. I'm a little conflicted.

Instead of going on and on... I'm just going to trust that I might have made someone else aware and I'm sharing a video floating around.

If you are looking for a way to help... pray, sponsor a child, ask what you can do. We can all do something.

Thankful Day 6

2011-11-05T21:37:00.001-05:00

An extra hour of sleep.

Picked one up from a sleep over... cleaned spill in car (again and it still stinks)... managed to train(do I really only have 1 month until the next half) on the Dreadmill...sent two off to a fall pumpkin patch/cookout/hayride/corn maze... took two to Hobby Lobby (CRAZY no idea there was a Christmas sale)... went for a walk to pick sticks for our Thankful Tree... Made a Chore jar (more later)... Made the bare bones of the tree... finally got to talk to Ray...made dinner... back to pick up two... introduce Jack to the world of Girl Scouts... home for baths, stories and bed...now for dishes and laundry and all that other stuff...

An extra hour... need I say more?

Briaisms

2011-11-05T04:30:00.000-05:00

When Bria was little, Grandma said she was fluent in Briaese. She seemed to have her own language. She still entertains us with her Briaisms.

Bria is fascinated with the sun roof in the car. She calls it the big window. It's getting chilly here. She asked to open the big window. I told her no. She asked why. I told it's because she would freeze. She said, "Are you saying I'll turn to stone Mama?" No, I'm saying you'll get cold. "Cold like a stone?" Sure Bria... cold like a stone.

This morning she was happily playing with Jack. "Are you having fun, Bria?"
"Yes, but can you put up a gate or something? He's gonna get the Barbies."

Then, my all time favorite. I asked her if she was happy Jack is home. She took a second and then said, "Yes. But I want a sister too." I laughed and explained that she has two sisters. She laughed back at me and said, "I mean a sister like Jack." I wish you could hear her and emphasis she puts on certain words like mean. I smiled and said, "I don't think that's happening honey. Daddy says we're done." She looks up and says, "My head thinks that he will change his mind when we get to (insert next duty station that I'm not supposed to tell you about here.)" My head thinks she's wrong...

I love that kid!

Thankful Day 5

2011-11-05T04:00:00.000-05:00

Now that I'm parent of 4 kids, and probably even before that, it became very apparent that I wouldn't be able to do everything every time. Today I'm thankful for all the other parents that help me in a pinch. Like today, for instance, Arleigh and Hanan have several Girl Scout functions. We were told that siblings are not allowed. Ray is out of the country. I am not paying to leave the littles for a babysitter, plus I'm still avoiding that with Jack, for a Girl Scout function. Thankfully other parents are driving and watching out for the girls. I truly hope that sometime soon, I'll be able to do the same for them.

Car Lines & Heels

2011-11-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

Maybe it isn't what you think. Yesterday, the girls got in the car and something was wrong. Arleigh was upset. She does not like that feeling of I've done something wrong. Something was wrong. It didn't take long to hear the whole story but I need to back up.

Yesterday we woke up to rain, a cold rain. By drop off time the rain had stopped put the clouds were still threatening. The wind was chilly. I told them to get ready, grab their stuff. They jump in the car. I noticed Arleigh wasn't wearing her jacket but she usually has one in her hand. When they got out of the car, no jacket in sight. I tried to stop her but there was no way the teachers would take them outside for recess. If it's below 60 degrees, I've noticed the teachers do everything they can to stay inside, especially if it's wet. I let her go. The short walk from the gym to the car might remind her to get her coat. Plus, it could totally be some tween cool thing to go without a coat. We're there too.

So as Arleigh and Hanan were about to leave the school for the car line, I was already parked. Usually they are waiting for me. The entire line was slowed down. Apparently an adult told Arleigh she couldn't leave the building without a jacket. She was raising her voice. This is someone the girls didn't recognize. She stopped her and kept raising her voice. She made her go through her backpack in case there was a sweatshirt. Finally Hanan pulled out an old sweatshirt. It was too small for Arleigh but the lady made her put it on. She was mortified. Her Mama, however, was angry.

I'm so tired of the adults having a bad day or being tired of their job and taking it out on children in their charge. It has happened more than once. How many times do I have to tell the girls, "I know but you have to respect them and love them. Maybe they were having a bad day. At least you didn't make it worse." I should also note that I'm not talking about their teachers. Their teachers are kind and even tempered. These people have different roles at the school, cafeteria workers, front office staff and some other random people who need to interact with the kids at this particular school are the worst offenders. Can I insert here I miss Kempsville so much right now it hurts!

I wrote a letter, explained what the girls told me and that we discussed how to respond. I told the assistant principal that just letting them know made me feel better but maybe they should make sure she isn't terrifying the younger kids. School should be a pleasant experience. A phone call and a brief meeting at my car... and I'm not sure if Arleigh feels better but I do.

Oh yes, the heels... I heard clomping and found this.

Bria must have a stash of my shoes in her room. He clomped around for a bit. He also got stuck in the handle of his Hot Wheels case yesterday. I missed that shot. Yes, I said in the handle, don't ask. He walked up and down the steps yesterday. I am in trouble and HE WALKED UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS yesterday. I think he motor skills are developing nicely thank you very much. He currently prefers playing in Bria's room. Something about hearing her squeal every time he grabs one of the toys she got for her birthday.

Not to be outdone by her brother... She insists that she needs her picture taken too.

Thankful Day 4

2011-11-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for Ray. He gives up a lot for us. He does a lot for us. He puts up with a lot from us. We have him outnumbered by a smidge... He works hard, plays hard and loves hard. I could go on but I'm appreciating him even more since he's not home and I have math, wordly wise and spelling homework to attack on my own with a suddenly much louder house. How does that work with a nonverbal child anyway? I won't go on... except to say I love you Ray and you are truly appreciated even if I don't show it all the time.

Did I Mention

2011-11-03T11:27:00.001-05:00

Did I mention Ray is off running around a beautiful European country that I have yet to visit and he's been there too many times to count? In fact so many times, he tried to get out of this trip.

Did I mention that since he's been gone I took a stool sample to the base. No, not the kind of reupholstery sample that I long for... the other kind. Did I mention the boy is gross? Oh, I did mention that. It's because he is, really, really gross.

Did I mention that I shouldn't leave the girls out? In their quest to not be as gross as the boy they use copious amounts of toilet paper leading to me plunging toilet after toilet while Ray is away. This tends to lend to an even more disturbing kind of gross. Wait, it's not more disturbing.

Did I mention that I have a hard time getting to sleep when Ray is away? For some reason every creak and groan of this house is amplified when he's gone. Did I mention Bria is waking up like clock work every night at 3:30. Did I mention I'm in an awesome mood? I didn't, we'll there's that.

Did I mention that the internet is as slow as molasses for Ray? Makes communication a bit difficult.

Did I mention (This is for Ray) that there is a Life Is Good sweatsuit at the NEX that I would have loved today and would be an excellent Christmas gift?

Did I mention that I have a long Christmas list in my head but then I feel guilty because I already have so much and I ask for goats, chickens and wells? Ray, did I mention you should maybe ignore the last statement?

Did I mention that I'm having a hard time with balance? I want and frankly covet but I want to give more to help eradicate poverty? I want to do for the kids but I'm irritated when they don't do for themselves? I want to lose weight and be healthy but I don't want to go for long runs or eat veggies? Did I mention that Wendy's commercial that seems to be on every second?

Did I mention that Jack went to Bible Class last night? I should have taken a picture. He was awesome.

Did I mention that as I sat outside Jack's class, Bria's class was right next door? I must have mentioned how loud she was and how bossy she seemed to be. Her sweet teacher assured me that she's perfect. Did I mention that I have my doubts? I'm pretty sure I'm in trouble when she starts school.

Did I mention that I think I know where we will be moving? Maybe... I'm sure I didn't mention where because I'm not allowed. Did I mention that I'm frustrated that we don't have orders? I know we're out there a bit but really...

Did I mention that I think it's time to be quiet now? I'll now mention of few of Bria and Jack's cutie patootie friends that went to the nursing home with us.

Thankful Day 3

2011-11-03T04:00:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for friends that I can call or email at any time of the day or night. They immediately reply and we can briefly catch up.

Sometimes this might mean a church friend from way back ready to listen to me cry a river about what my personal mission in life should be and not life when I finally wind my way back around to the Great Commission.

Sometimes it's my family, my mom or my aunt. They make me laugh daily with their phone calls and texts, okay that's Nana Bonnie... Grandma still hasn't mastered texting. Still, laughing daily at their stories. In fact I giggled listening to a voicemail from Mom on my way home tonight. I didn't really understand her story because it was a bit garbled but still, she makes me laugh.

Sometimes this means a text from my big girls on their iPods...just to say they love me.

Sometimes it's someone from the adoption community. They are old friends that we suddenly have so much more in common friend, Facebook friends, ministry friends, non profit friends... they call back immediately to answer questions and communicate, to pray for you or someone you know. They are constant. Always there. The best sort of friends.

So if I talked to you on the phone in the last 24 hours or even sent a couple of quick emails. Thank you. Whatever you said or did meant a lot and sometimes I forget to say, "Thank you."

If this was Facebook, I would be tagging Emily, Kim, Shannon, Deborah, Anna, Mom, Aunt Bonnie, Penny, Arleigh and Hanan. Thanks guys! In one way or another you helped make my day.

This Is Halloween

2011-11-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

Yes, that song from A Nightmare Before Christmas is stuck in my head. Did I get to hand it off? I sure home so... it's been a long week.

So I've been asked about 100 times what Jack thought of Halloween. He loves dressing up and seeing the other kiddos dressed up.

He does not love chocolate, sugar, anything sweet... but he does love for you to put those things in his bucket. Can you say border?

He likes the attention from his family but isn't nuts about anyone else in the world noticing him.

He's learned to say "Cheese!" when he sees the camera. Here's hoping he doesn't start the same constipated cheese look Bria has going on...

Trick or Treating was awesome but he still has a bit of trouble keeping up with his sisters. Arleigh and Hanan had a problem keeping up with Bria this year.

In other Halloween related activities... I took Jack and Bria with a few of their friends to a nursing home in the afternoon. They participated in a costume parade, got to collect candy from each resident, make crafts and play games. This was the princess reigning over a rambunctious game of Bingo. She was a bit of a hit.

Try getting four kiddos ready for a night of trick or treating with homework and chores... Whew! In the past, I've made everything from chili with a Jack o Lantern face to snake sandwiches. This year, it was mummy pizzas. They were pretty tasty and just enough before had to head out into the neighborhood.

This would be the whole crew being the whole crew. Cinderella, step sisters and the prince. And to think, I begged them to be KISS. This was much cuter.

Notes about this year... I forgot that last year Halloween fell on Sunday. It was hilarious watching Bria run from house to house. I was thinking about how things had changed. Then I remembered, trunk to trunk wasn't a far walk. She also told me that I could not steal any of her Reeses cups. Smart girl.

Arleigh wasn't so badly to wear these high heel shoes. She didn't make it far. Pretty embarrassing when the boy with poor gross motor skills makes it to the door before you do.

Hanan is always in her element. She was slightly offended each and every time someone called her pretty. Arleigh was too for that matter. After all, they were supposed to be the Ugly Step Sisters. They were thrilled when teenage girls answered the door to Ooooos and Ahhhhhhhs over the Cinderella theme.

Just for giggles.... Some of our past Halloween pics...

Thankful Day 2

2011-11-02T04:00:00.000-05:00

This morning I'm thankful for yesterday's Tuesday Take Home folder that contained a social studies test. I'm thankful that it said 100 A. Sooooo thankful. I'm even more thankful that a certain teacher recognized the hard work and wrote "Love it!" at the top. This morning I'm thankful for baby steps and hoping next week I can say I'm thankful for Math papers too.

Thankful...

2011-11-01T20:10:00.001-05:00

I am about to say that I am going to do something and I have no idea how I will manage it. I am going to post every day through the month of November. Yes, every day. I want to slow down and remember that I should be thankful for the big things and the little things EVERY DAY. I got the awesome idea from ~~my friend~~ okay acquaintance from a Taco Bueno somewhere in AK. Still, she's cool. You should check out what's going on over at We Are That Family.

So right now... there is a big list of blessings running through my head. Come Thanksgiving... I'm not sure how I'll feel. Maybe it's not Thanksgiving... but my monthly friend... did I just say that out loud? Anyway... I have too many blessings to count so I'm going to give it a try.

First up... This guy...

I may have mentioned a doctor's appointment. He finally had one. I hope I also mentioned that my mother is a saint. She not only went with us to the base, she sat in the playroom with Bria for over 2 hours. If you know Bria, you know what a big deal this is. I guess I'm saying I'm thankful for more than a few things here.

Jack's doctor is the bomb. Literally. Former navy nuke. Or is it Nuc? Either way he's awesome. It could be because he thinks Jack is awesome. I might be biased. Let's put Dr. O'Dell on that thankful list though because he didn't have any appointments, I called and said, "We're here." He sequestered a room, did everything he could possibly do and said we are very lucky. Ray and I call it blessed but we'll take lucky too.

You see, O'Dell was the first doctor to see Jack's file. He was shocked when little man walked into the clinic like he owned the place. I can't believe I didn't take a picture. Must have been the nerves. Jack has gained almost 6 pounds since he saw the doctor in China. He's standing straighter, speaking more. Absorbing more because there is someone to engage him and his brain.

After O'Dell examined Jack, I held Jack while nursed collected five vials of blood and gave him 5 injections. Little man was a bit angry. Honestly, I think it was more about me holding him down the the burning hot liquid being stabbed into his now almost chunky thighs. Let me also say, I'm incredibly thankful that he found it in his heart to forgive me. It's that or he forgot. Either way... I'm good.

We recovered and now begins tracking his progress. We'll see Dr. O'Dell again just after Christmas for a check up and more shots. We also got a big fat go ahead for Mother's Day out. Did I mention I'm thankful? He gets to go play with friends and maybe pick up a little more English after Christmas.

So we are pretty thankful that our little guy got an awesome bill of health. Not all the tests are back but O'Dell doesn't think we should expect abnormalities because he checks out as healthy as a horse.

Our little Prince Charming is a bit late for the party but he's here!

That's reason enough!

This Weekend

2011-10-31T07:30:00.001-05:00

Here's our weekend in bullet form... you'll understand why in a minute.

Jack finally had a doctor's appointment! (All good. I promise it's a whole post.)

The appointment took over two hours.
I had to hold him down for 5 vials of blood and 5 shots. (See above.)

Grandma saved the day exactly 14 times. Odd since she was only here for a long weekend.
The big girls participated in a baby shower on Thursday that we had to leave early due to homework issues.
We attended a work function for Ray sans kids. Did I mention Grandma saved the day?
My friend Ginny took our pictures at Arlington on early Saturday morning. I was not prepared. (Again, another post...)
I lost my phone.
Ray and I attended the prayer vigil at church. This is another high five to Grandma!
We hosted a Peek-A-Bug Pancakes & Pajamas Party in honor of Bria's birthday. It was a simple and a success. Thanks again Grandma!
Jack survived the party in spite of thinking more than once that he clearly could not. Thanks again Grandma!
We hit Trunk Or Treat last night.
Again, the boy survived. He actually prefers costumes in the dark.
We forgot to pack key elements of the girls' costumes.
They didn't win a prize.
In case you're wondering... We appeared as Cinderella, Prince Charming, The Evil Step Mother, And Drucilla and Anastatia. (The Step Sisters)
This morning, I fear Mount Washmore has reached it's peak. I'm dreading my climb to the summit. It has begun.
My house looks like a tornado hit one of the houses from that show Hoarders. Fall decor is piled in my bathroom, lady bugs liter the house, and the candy wrappers... Halloween I don't like you anymore.
I must hit the summit of Mount Washmore today because Ray leaves for a couple of weeks tomorrow.
Jack and Bria are participating in a costume parade at a nursing home.
The girls sans Jack will trick or treat tonight. (His distaste for candy and having people in his face will probably leave him at home or at least in the wagon like he'll be for the parade today.
I think I used entirely too many parenthesis in a bullet post. (What do you think?)

I can't stand it... a sneak peek...

First Time in 22 Years

2011-10-27T10:43:00.000-05:00

I've been struggling with what to write about. So many things are happening... fight the insurance, watching Jack change, getting ready for big family changes and keeping my head above water. There is also the fact that we have been studying James on Wednesday night and doing a study on raising children on Sunday mornings. How much do I say about the school, the schedules, trying to carve out time for extended family... so much.

Today, I have the opportunity to tell a different story. I have been driving for 22 years. The first time I was pulled over, I was 16. Once I was doing more than 20 miles and hour over the legal limit...my brother the cop happened to be in the car with me. Ray is always accusing me of driving like a Nascar racer, something about I'm totally messing up the transmission on the mom mobile... Today was the first time in 22 years that I got a speeding ticket.

I seriously had to ask what I had done. I had no idea I was speeding. Cops on motorcycles when it's suddenly 50 degrees are apparently not amused. That, or I am old and haggard like that cartoon Nana Bonnie loves of the too old wrinkly women in bathing suits saying swimming in more dangerous now because the life guards are clearly not looking... He didn't miss a beat. He wrote the ticket. He asked if I owned the van and told me where to pay or go to court.

Ahhh yes, the court date... December 28th... our Christmas break... we will be out of town. Good thing last nights lesson was on taming the tongue. Does it count if I say the words in my head? Are me head and my heart the same thing?

I pulled over. Bria was furious that the cop would take my driver's license and make her late for her Halloween party. Jack was giggling with nervous laughter because he could tell I was upset. I was trying not to cry because I don't know who I'm madder at, the cop who could have at least been polite or me for breaking the speed limit.

It's all done. I'll be writing a check. The thing I'm really upset about, is I just flushed enough money down the drain that I could have sponsored a child in Jack's orphanage for three months.

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-26T15:10:00.001-05:00

The leaves are changing, and I noticed today, falling. I wish I could say it was cooler...maybe tomorrow. We're still in the 80s today. Football is on tv all the time with a side of World Series on the lap top. It's that time of year.

Bria's preschool headed to Priddy's Pumpkin Patch this week. No, it's no typo even though spellcheck is screaming at me. It's a family farm just on the other side of the highway and surprisingly close to a subdivision that somehow popped up. I wonder if the little farm house will someday be like the house in one of my favorite books.

It might be time to drag that book back out...

Anyway, the trip to the farm includes lots of playtime with friends, a really cool train made with old barrels and pulled by a four wheeler and a hayride to pick pumpkins. I think Bria and Jack had fun. Arleigh and Hanan will get their turn with their girl scout troop at a much larger farm in a couple of weeks.

Picture highlights...

Fall Break

2011-10-24T08:38:00.000-05:00

Fall Break is over. I think I packed in about as much fun for the girls as I could stand. We've decorated for Halloween, had two sleepovers, taken a total of 6 kids to the zoo, meeting 5 others there, and gone to Grandma's for a quick visit. In all of that, Bria and Jack are tag teaming me with their sleep schedules. Somewhere in the middle, I tried to fit in a long run. Tried is the operative word. I was a ~~attacked~~ tripped by a dog and the lack of port-a-potties had me back home a mile short of my weekly goal. Oh, and Ray taught me how to use the new mouse. I'm still not in love with is, but I'm using it...

This week, I have a trip to the pumpkin patch, I need to magically find an unattainable costume, attend a Halloween party, ask a teacher for yet another conference all the why wondering why I try to communicate with her, plan a belated birthday party with a Peek-A-Bug Pajama and Pancakes theme... Here are a few of our pictures. I'll be back when I can.

First KY Trip

2011-10-22T22:31:00.000-05:00

Ready for bed, there are lots of things to say and to be said. The short story is, Ray had plans with our brothers so I packed up for kids and a dog and went to Kentucky to visit Grandma and Grandpa. I questioned the judgement alot. If this video works, I think you'll see that Jack adjusted to a trip to Kentucky just fine. More later. Right now I need to sleep.

People Of Wal-Mart

2011-10-20T14:23:00.000-05:00

Fall break and Ray out of town means that we have hit Wal-Mart twice this week. I could also add that I have yet to figure out our new milk needs since Jack has been home. We added one boy and somehow seem to be going through milk at least 3 times as fast.

Anyway, a couple of days ago we were in the baby aisle. The cheap little monitor that I was using in Bria's room bit the dust when I moved it to Jack's room. I hear from over my shoulder, "Are they all yours?"

I turned braced for whatever could come next. "We have a newborn. Someone gave us a bunch of generic diapers and everything is wet!" This, I can handle. I smiled talked the pros and cons of diapers and expenses and congratulated them. Not as bad as I was braced for. I did wonder where the newborn was with Mom and Dad wandering the aisles of Wal-Mart looking like a couple of zombies in the middle of the afternoon.

Today, we were back. Milk and halloween run. (Yes, the costume list is finally nailed down!) It was late so I broke down and let the kids pick something from the McDonald's in the back for lunch. Not my favorite place but it's amazing what Arleigh and Hanan will open up about if fries and soda are involved. That's when he walked over. He was an older gentleman. He was teasing and asking if he could take the worst one off my hands. I wanted to say, "Well today that would be..." I refrained, seeing as how I love and want to keep all my children. I said they are all pretty good and smiled. He teased some more and went to order.

Then, he came back. It starts with, "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer." I sat up straight. I can't tell you how many thoughts ran through my head of what he might want to ask, especially in front of the 9 and 10 year old who pretty much understand everything as well as the implications. I said "Ask away." I wish I could say I was whispering a prayer. I did say a prayer of thanks that it all went okay later.

My new friend says, "Well, I know that one is yours. (Pointing at Arleigh.) And that one is yours. (Pointing at Hanan.) And that one is yours. (Pointing at Bria.)" At this point I'm thinking please don't say he's not mine... Then he says, "And this one you must have adopted because you wanted a boy!"

I smiled. "Well, he is adopted. We didn't go looking for a boy. We wanted to give a child a home and someone told us that boys that are waiting for homes in China. We were told its harder for them to find homes so we went there."

I was braced and waiting for the worst but people are just curious people. When you are walking around with more than 2.5 kids and one of them doesn't look like the rest you are a natural oddity. In all that, I really hope the girls heard that I wasn't looking to replace them with a son.

This Is Discipling

2011-10-19T15:00:00.000-05:00

I saw this on the Facebook, other blogs, you may have already seen it too.

Exactly how I'm feeling, except I totally agree with Jamie at theveryworstmissionary.com that lights come and go from every part of the world. I'm pretty sure there are people under my nose who need to see Jesus' light.

Worth your time to watch...

In The Light Of Morning

2011-10-19T09:52:00.002-05:00

I hope I don't sound dreadfully tired. If I do, it's because of guilt. Bria isn't sleeping at night. I feel guilty because I wonder if it's her way of carving out time with me. She clings to me and cuddles which is not in her nature. It's very sweet but it makes up both grumpy by about 3 o'clock. Add to that, I can't figure out the new mouse Ray installed and I'm forced to ask for help from a 10-year old; it's fall break the big girls think it's cool to stay up late and don't realize how it effects them the next day and well, at 8 when I send them to their respective rooms, I'm ready to go to mine. Posting at nine in the middle of a sleepover and everything that happened yesterday probably wasn't my brightest idea. In fact, maybe I need to reread that last post. I hope it was mostly pictures.

Now that it's morning and my caffeine has kicked in there are a few things that I forgot to tell you. This week, I got to finally see the sweetest little baby boy, just home even though he is almost 2 months old and still hasn't reached his due date. I told his mom that hearing his strong little cry made me feel warm all over. I can't wait to see how he grows. Speaking of growing, Jack has gained more weight in the last three weeks than the little early bird weighs. His mama has been praying for my Jack and I so appreciate it. She is clearly a prayer warrior because when we left China, I was ready to call on another mutual friend to see how fast I could get him in an eating therapy group. I'm sure we are looking at lots of therapies, eating isn't one of them.

I love my email conversations right now. One such friend recently mentioned the post where I said I am just ordinary. What she sent, made me smile because she seemed to know just how I was feeling. I replied and said after the airport can be difficult. I knew it but it's hard to talk about if other people haven't adopted. I hadn't much more hit reply than I read a post by Jenna at Many Colored Days. (Seriously, this mouse is irritating the life out of me. So I can't hide the link without highlighting the entire paragraph. I hate technology but I love my phone. I see another post!) So here is the link.

The original after the airport post is not Jack. Things are different with Jack because he moves like a toddler but in some ways communicates more like an infant. You've already read about my poop fiascos and Jenna is right, I never know where to point his boy parts. He doesn't know how either. The downstairs bathroom reeks of bleach because in my mind it's better than the alternative. Jack wants us one minute but yesterday, we had to stop by an open house. I don't think he would have cared one bit if I had left him there.

There are moments when he is so irritated and mad at me that I wonder if he will ever forgive us for taking him away from everything he knew. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around but I'm starting to see that familiar seems better to him than better does. When you break it all down, being loved and asked to love in return when you haven't known that is hard. Not knowing what his past was like is hard because I can't help him feel comfortable in anything that might seem familiar. At this point, I can't say we live day by day but moment by moment. Some are wonderful others are gut wrenching hard. It's all worth it because every now and then we get a glimpse of personality. It seeps out more every day.

On Sunday I would have said we were moving backwards. On Monday, things were about the same. This morning, we're having a good day. I never want to make it seem like it's harder than it is or easier than it is, just that he's worth it.

Catching Up

2011-10-18T21:03:00.001-05:00

Did I just title a post catching up? I think I did. Must have been the fact that I a friend of the girls is sleeping over, Ray is out of town and the warm water must have been really encouraging to get Jack to try to poop in the bathtub...again. I would love to say it was a completely failed attempt. I can only say it wasn't completely successful. Then there were the little girls screams and gags. I'm wondering if this is the new normal.

So let me recap...

We had a family outing to the zoo. I think about 60% of the zoo outing, this was Jack. I'll look away from whatever they are looking at then it won't be there. One of the first animals we saw was the elephant. I promise if I could read his mind it was thinking, "These crazy people let that dog wolf thing in my face all the time what are they going to do with these?" By the end of the day he was enjoying himself a bit more.

Have I mentioned that more and more, I'm craving the life of a panda...eat...sleep...repeat...as much as you want.

My monkey whisperer. We saw Zoo Keeper just before we went to China. It's her dream job.

The wolf came over to say hello. Usually they are pretty far away.

Maybe it's just bears in general...

This is not the I'm enjoying myself face. This is the holy crap there is a waterfall face. It could also be the do you think they'll throw me over and feed me to the bears face.

If you could see my face in this picture it would be the should I just give up on the whole idea of a family picture?

Nana and Pa Pa came to town this weekend to meet Jack. The pictures are messed up and, well, I'm too tired to fix it. So not in order... we visited replicas of the Nina and Pinta on the river. It was pretty cool especially considering there has been an overkill on Columbus thanks to Columbus Day.

Yes, please keep off the Dinghy. Did I mention what when I get tired I have the maturity of a sixth grader?

We ate at Rendevouz. Bria liked the ribs.

No, really, she loved the ribs.

Jack liked the red beans and rice. He ate three bowls! Yes, I paid for it later. No that wasn't yesterday's meal.

He his clearly a Daddy's boy. Did I mention that Daddy is out of town?

Bria got more presents.

There's the whole family picture thing...

Impossible I tell you.

Hanan also picked up a frog Sunday night. I think he's living out front. I'm scared to mow.

Last, the Jack update that I've been asked about. Conversations with the pediatrician have happened but Jack hasn't met him yet. Jack has gained six pounds since his doctor's appointment in Guangzhou. That's a 25% gain in just three weeks. Clearly, eating is no longer an issue. Eating what I want him to eat sometimes is but I'm learning to be more flexible. Maybe trying to be more flexible is a bit more accurate.

Jack's language is improving. It is not improving as rapidly as I imagined but it is improving. His potty progress is about the same but some days that alone seems like regression. His attachment improves daily. He's still perfectly happily in some situations to go to and with anyone else. Sometimes, he grabs on fiercely and won't look anyone in the eye. I haven't left him in a Sunday School class yet, but it's coming because soon he will be a little too rambunctious for an adult class. I'll stay with him until he's comfortable. Since he has started acting like he wants to stay at school with Bria, it won't take him long.

That's it. I'm off to bed. Maybe I can come up with more later. Happy what day is it again? Oh yeah, Happy Tuesday!

Bria's Birthday

2011-10-14T14:12:00.001-05:00

Bria is still planning her birthday party. It's the one she asks about at least 453 times a ~~day~~ hour. Even so, she managed a pretty sweet gig. She hung out all day with Jack. We hit Chick-Fil-A for lunch and Wal-Mart to pick out cupcakes for her school party and her family party. Then home, pizza for supper. Her choice, pepperoni of course. Then church.

Bria fielded a number of phone calls through out the day. She cracked me up. You would know someone said "Happy Birthday!" because her reply would be "Happy Birthday," wish a sweet little sheepish grin. She loved the call from Tye Tye because he always sings in his best Tye Tye voice (top of his lungs) the family birthday song.

She got presents, a new game a Sleeping Beauty and Prince Phillip plus some regifted toys from her sisters. Arleigh even took her own money to school to get Bria a new pencil case. I love my sweet girls. Here are a few of the pictures.

Canine Behavior

2011-10-13T21:18:00.005-05:00

I may have forgotten to mention... my baby brother is a published author now. When he sends me a link to the book on Amazon, I'll be sure to pass it on. Until then, he needs some help. He recently wrote an article about Canine Learning Behavior. It's a good article. Did I mention that I am his worst critic? I also broke his collar bone but that's another post entirely.

Anyway, I encourage you to read it, but he just needs you to click the link.

Please click the link.

Pretty please.

Some Letters

2011-10-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Bria,

I can't believe you are four. I can't believe it's been four years since your snaggle toothed sisters begged to hold you. Please stop growing up so quickly. I know you have to become an adult, just don't make it so fast.

Love,

Mama.

Dear Arleigh,

I'm love that you are learning to love cooking. Your omelets are better than mine. You have some serious skills that will serve you well as a wife and a mother and that makes me so proud. However, part of learning to cook is learning to clean the mess you make when you cook. If you are only making eggs for yourself, wash the pan, dry it and then put it away preferably in that order.

Love,

Mama

Dear Jack,

I can't imagine all the changes you just went through. I'm trying to remember how much I craved pizza and salad in China. Even though part of me can't imagine why, you must really want some congee instead of oatmeal right about now. I'm sorry so much has changed. Thank you for trying new things. I'll try to keep making rice even though I'm starting to gain any weight back that I might have lost in China. You are worth it!

Love,

Mama

Dear Hanan,

I'm super super proud of how hard you are pushing for your AR points. Your reading has improved so much. I love that you are finding your love of reading even if it is through a competitive streak. As your mother I feel it is necessary to tell you that you have to have more than a big heart to be a vet/zoo keeper. Math and science are necessary. Let's work on it together.

Love,

Mama

Dear Teacher,

You are making me crazy. I realize my child's grades ultimately fall on her shoulders. When I try to talk to you about falling grades, it would help if you would engage a little. Help me help her. I wasn't trying to back you into a corner. I promise. Having her write book reports when her problems are in math and science is clearly not the answer I wanted to hear. Do you even know your students?

Sincerely,

A Concerned Mother

Dear Bria,

I know it's your only car. I know it's a girly car, with a pretty leopard print and a pink interior. I know it is technically yours. It's also the coolest car in the house. The doors open and it scoots across the floor faster than any of our other cars. Can Jack please play with it every now in then? Please?

Your exhausted mother

Dear Jack,

There are 253 cars in your room. Please stop taking the only one that belongs to your sister.

Your exhausted mother

Dear Mr. Detailer,

I realize orders are in someone else's hands. I find the best way to prepare for a new duty station is to talk to people who have been there. This secrecy about who goes where is killing me and frankly stupid. Maybe I should write Mr. Navy a letter.

Sincerely,

The Wife

Dear Jack,

I know you can't communicate but grab my hand and walk toward the bathroom. Potty training means I have to be retrained. I'm an old dog that doesn't like learning new tricks especially stinky ones.

Thanks,

Mama

Dear Insurance,

What is my deductible again? I guess I should be grateful there wasn't more lightening damage. Thanks for the reminder to count my blessings.

Sincerely,

I'm Not Miss Moneybags

Dear God,

Clearly I need to work on forgiveness but there's so much going on here, do you really need to throw that all at me right now?

Thanks,

Still trying

Dear Readers,

Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest. Sometimes I wonder if anyone around here hears me.

Your very grateful blogger

Briaisms

2011-10-11T08:56:00.001-05:00

Mom used to say Bria had her own language, called Briaese. These days it sounds much more like English. She's going to turn four tomorrow. Did you hear my heart break a little when I wrote that? She's been extra snuggly since we got home, climbing into my lap just so she can be close. She's also told us a few things. Here are latest...

"Mama, I didn't know having Chinese brother would be sooooooo boring."

"Mama, you didn't know..." and then add any phrase like I love candy, the sky is blue, Jack is boring.

"Mama, when Jack is done, can I have the green car?" Followed by, "I can have it forever?"

When I told Bria she is growing too fast, I don't think I can possibly let her go to college she said, "That's okay Mama, but I can still go to school?" (Just call me Uncle Hailey. I think that's on the blog somewhere but I can't find it.)

If we go for a walk and it's not the usual way, "Mama, how are you going to get home?" I answer that we'll walk home. "But how?"

That's just a few. I really wish at this age I had a video camera pointed at her almost all the time. I never know what she's going to do or say.

The Big Things

2011-10-10T12:19:00.002-05:00

Today is hard for me, so very, very hard. I usually post early in the morning, but I've waiting until Jack and Bria are enjoying lunch. Today is the anniversary of meeting and saying goodbye to Jessa, girl number four. Every year I think it will be easier. Every year, it's not but I can see the other things happening around me like.

Getting ready for our first post adoption home study.

Being able to visit with wonderful friends on their way to a new duty station. I love the Garcia Family! I love to tease ~~Carlos~~ Lolo. Cynthia is like the little sister I never had. She has plenty of sisters and family but I'll take her anytime.

And the next picture is the "Would you please put me in my bed look. I seriously need to get some sleep and get away from all these girls."

Bria had just turned two when we moved to Memphis. Victoria was almost two. They started having birthday parties together went to Sunday school class. They acted like it hasn't been almost two years...so sweet. I hope they visit our next duty station.

Then there was an email from some unknown address. It had this picture in it...

Grandma is in Maine. She never eats seafood...EVER. It is the bane of her existence. She ordered the lobster. That thing is so bright red, it doesn't even look real. I'm so proud of mom for stepping out of her box. She said she ate at least three bites and won't order it again but WOW she tried it!

Last but not least, there is Jack. He made it through two church services and Sunday school yesterday without us feeling the need to go to the quiet room. He ate goldfish patiently during Sunday school and feasted on animal crackers during the service last night. He is eating most everything we put in front of him these days. Still no fruit, nothing super sweet but still. Many tears have been shed over the way Jack eats by both me and Jack and we've truly seen prayers answered this week. His gross motor skills are also improving. He is a little more clingy and a little less moody. Overall these are big steps in the right direction. I also need to say a prayer for thanks for Super Why.

What I Missed

2011-10-07T08:43:00.000-05:00

Fully entrenched in our routine now that we are back... hard to believe all I could think about this time last week was getting home... I am truly aware of what I missed.

The girls... oh my word, I'm soaking them up.
Reminding a certain fifth grader that AR counts toward her grade and it is just as important to pick up a book as it is to read on her iPod.
The girls.
Two girl scout meetings one at Sweet and Sassy and the start of nut sales.
Piano and long phone calls from our beloved piano teacher.
The girls.
School pictures.
Kissing three little girls and not blowing kisses at them through the iPad.
Diet SunDrop.
The girls.
Going to church. (Currently I miss going to church without worrying about meltdowns.)
Bria confronting a bully a Chik-fil-a. I would have loved to see that.
A stomach virus, thankfully only one and it was quick.
The girls.
Shopping with Grandma.
Seeing Hanan hit her AR goal.
A cheer pom meeting. Are we really going to do this?
The girls.
A visit from Tye Tye. Apparently he only visits when I'm out of the country.
My twenty year high school reunion.
The girls.
The chapter of my sorority's 50th anniversary.
Reading my favorite blogs every morning.
The girls.
Doing my laundry in a washing machine and dryer. Never knew how much I would miss that!
Picking up blocks, Dora toys, stuffed animals, recorders, panties, wet towels, you get the idea.
The girls.
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law moving away from TN. We actually lived in the same state for almost two years. That's the first time that's happened in the last 16 years.
The girls.

Are you seeing a theme? The good news is as much as the time in China wore me out, I would do it again. We got to help Jack and see so many firsts.

First airplane ride, again and again.
First boat ride, we think.
First escalator, pretty sure.
First church service.
First chicken nugget and fries McDonald's outing.
First hugs.
First pants without a giant hole in the bum.
First kisses.
Possibly first bath in a bathtub.
First roughhousing with Daddy.
First Cheerios.
First Safari Park.
First time feeding a tiger. (Had to throw that in.)
First time being part of a real family.

As we enter this new phase of attachment, I find myself counting everything as a blessing. Plus, I started Kisses From Katie. How can I do anything else?

About Yesterday

2011-10-05T08:18:00.001-05:00

More to the point... about yesterday's post. Thank you for the comments and the couple of emails and the texts. I'm totally okay. Thank you for asking. Thanks you immensely for keeping us on your prayer list. Trying to not ramble I should maybe kept yesterday's post too simple. Emily understands. (Since I mentioned her, hop on over to Team Alexander to read about what she was doing in Ethiopia while I was hopping around China.) Once again, I digress...which is why yesterday was short.

I've been struggling with a few things. One is, so many people comment on the wonderful, wonderful thing we have done. I have no idea how to reply to those statements that seem to put us on a pedestal. It's especially hard when there are few things more humbling than dealing with a three year old who can't communicate and refuses to eat. In fact, Jack is growing me too, showing me how selfish and self absorbed I can be but that's another post. Here are a few thoughts that run through my mind when people tell us how lucky Jack is to have us as parents...

It was God, not us. I would never have imagined in a million years even 5 years ago that we would go looking for a special needs child for our family. Yes, I hope he finds our family a much better place than where he was, especially considering his living conditions. There are moments when I still feel woefully inadequate.
Jack is a gift to us just as much as we are a gift to him. I read this post at 5 a.m. this morning. I have my husband's alarm clock to thank. It says it better than I can.
I am not a super human, super mom, saint or extra special. I don't think Ray would mind me saying that he isn't either. We just decided to act. Most of the time it works our great. Sometimes it's very, very hard. In the end it's all worth it. Back up to number one... it's not us.
After gushing over what we've done, of the many questions we've had since coming home, one I hear a lot is "Should we be doing this to?" It is generally followed with, "I don't think I want to." I have the hardest time answering this one. I think if you are supposed to adopt, you know. You'll find a way. We would love to encourage anyone. Right now, just home, I'm also aware of how hard the transition can be. It's sort of like asking the mother in labor if you should go ahead and get pregnant. Pretty sure it's between you and your spouse and God. I'm here for you if you want to chat about other particulars.

That's it. I haven't taken a single picture since the airport. Jack is still getting used to our house and our routines. He loves having the girls, even our little Napoleon around. Of course right now, they are in a sort of honeymoon period and for the most part they dote on his every need. He is eating a little more. He is pretty pitiful and just about every meal. We don't think he knows how to chew. He tolerates spicy but not different flavors. He is still not fond of Tucker. Poor Tucker is feeling a bit deprived these days. Jack is slowly coming around but not really ready to accept a giant slobbery kiss that Tucker really wants to give him.

Bria... she's too awesome for words. She is trying really hard to share. I'm trying really hard to carve out space for her. She has really stepped up to her role as big sister. I think she grew like 6 inches since we were gone and matured a couple of years. I could still eat her up.

Hanan... her big heart will carry her through anything. She really stepped it up at school, which was one of my worries before I left. She's starting a cheer group and really excited. She plays with Jack every night.

Arleigh...the mother hen she always was. She is a little Mama in training, taking care of all of us. She understands the pressure a little more than the other two and is trying her best to help while tackling her growing schedule.

That's it for now. Again... not a saint ;)

My Secret

2011-10-04T12:36:00.000-05:00

I have a dirty little secret... I'm not a saint...not even close.

After writing, deleting and repeating about 500 times. I've decided to leave it at that. Not a saint. Not a Mother Theresa Want To Be. Not a super mom. I'm ordinary. Most days I feel like I'm failing miserably... maybe like you? I haven't done anything this week that you can't do. If you really think it's what you're supposed to do, it might be.

The Trip Home

2011-10-03T05:32:00.000-05:00

We made it home. Immigration was a bear. Tired, very tired, we said, "This is great! The United States really has Hong Kong beat. I can't believe how organized they are." Then, we were sent to another line...A line with only two people in front of us. No big deal, right? That's when they started walking over other people putting them in front of us. We had a wonderful view from this position for the long lines at the next two steps through security. Finally an agent took pity and called us to the next window where she took our super sealed brown envelope, the one we were told to guard with our lives and proceeded to rip it open ripping documents at the same time. Not our best moment. Then, the luggage was missing. The officers told us just to get in line and tell Delta. Ray found it at the last second on the Amsterdam belt. Did I mention we traveled from Hong Kong? There was the little old lady who tried to cut in front of everyone at the x-ray machine even though we had been waiting ~~forever~~ 15 minutes. We ran and made it to the plane just in time to sit on it for another twenty minutes. All this, and I'm thankful to say the two hours it took us to get from one plane to the next was the most stressful of the 24 hour trip. Jack was a trooper on the plane only getting upset a couple of times. I said more than one prayer for more than one set of parents on that plane. It could have been so much worse.

Oh yes the plane... We asked the hotel about a car to the airport thinking that would be easier and giving ourselves plenty of time. Once again, something was lost in translation. We climbed on a bus. We got to the airport a little later than we thought. Live and learn. A cab would have been better. Security took forever. I got through, turned to wait for Ray and Jack started peeing all over me. I mean all over me. I got to a bathroom and changed him. I was soaked. No judgments. We had been doing okay on the potty training front. With only a couple of pull-ups, I misunderstood Ray and put him in his airplane underwear with plans to change him when we got on the plane. Ray, bless his heart, felt really bad for me and insisted on looking for another shirt. The signs as we ran for the gate said, "Prada, Gucci, Versace..." You get the picture. In Memphis every other shop has an Elvis t-shirt for $5. I managed to get on the plane without crying, took off my outer shirt, cleaned up and tried to ignore the smell. I can't tell you how many more times I checked Jack's pants on that flight and it was probably because I was smelling myself. Nice right? Sorry to the people in front of and behind us.

Jack was great. He was only upset when he inadvertently woke up. That didn't happen often since he refused to sleep. We were tired but it made jet lag mostly easier to deal with. We had a steady supply of rice like fish crackers that he would eat since the airline food didn't do it for him.

The twenty four hour trip was worth it. I managed to not totally lose it when I saw the girls even though I wanted to a little bit. I told them I didn't think I could let them go to college. Bria said that was okay but she's still going to school. I didn't tell them because I knew they were reading the blog, but more than once I more than lost my composure in China just from missing them so much. Ray did his best to get pictures but it's hard when all you want to do is grab the girls and squeeze them.

Then, there is one of my new favorite pictures... Jack meeting Grandma for the first time. I think it was love at first sight.

The girls were everything that I thought they would be with Jack. They are so in love with him. They take care of him like little mother hens. Jack loves having them around.

Today, we are going to try our new normal... the normal that had me waking up at 4:30. Might not bode well later on. Jack is making slow, slow steps. Sometimes painfully slow. We sat in the cry room at church yesterday so he wouldn't feel so out of control. He can now be in the same room with Tucker without screaming...most of the time. Time to move on to all of our post placement paperwork. If I keep getting up at 4 in the morning, I should have plenty of time to work that out.

The Day In Hong Kong

2011-09-30T08:12:00.000-05:00

We were very blessed that the typhoon just skirted Hong Kong. Unfortunately, we didn't get the typical day after the storm weather. It wasn't enough to blow everything off. This morning was cloudy. This afternoon there were showers. Poor Jack, weather isn't enough to stop his parents.

We started by taking the tram to Victoria's Peak. The views were incredible.

We made him do it... Plus, the Tennessee Titans shirt in Hong Kong. We might turn him into one of us yet.

Sara... the new Apple Store. I made sure we took this from a cab just for you. I'm sure Ray would have loved to browse but we only had one day.

Leave it to my navy man... heaven forbid we make a two week Asian whirlwind trip without stepping on a boat. We rode the ferry twice. Again, cloudy but the harbor here is just incredible.

Jack entertained himself by putting his fingers in and out of his ears.

The crowds made him a little nervous. Of course, the crowds could make me nervous too.

This is his, I'm really not happy with you people look. We see it a bit more these days. I'm actually sort of glad he knows it's okay to let us know he's pretty ticked.

We never really know what will set him off. Today it was this...

Yep, no idea why but he was terrified of the shooting water. He couldn't believe that I would dare get near it. Yesterday it was the rain. Today, the rain didn't bug him so much. He loves the bath. Like I said, no idea.

This is the view from our room.

And this. You can sort of see the storm from the afternoon. I liked watching the boats and the helicopters when we trapped inside today.

That's it. Last post from this side of the world. I want to thank you for your prayers. We definitely felt them. Thanks for following us and our crazy adventure. I can't tell you how excited I am that our next post will most likely be from the United States. I can't wait to get there!

Changzhi Social Welfare Institute

2011-09-30T05:27:00.003-05:00

I mentioned in Jack's update, Love Without Boundaries recently started a school inside the orphanage that was taking care of Jack. The group in Spain is heading up the project. I was just told that it doesn't mean they don't need help from Americans too. They need one time donations for school supplies as well as for people to sponsor the children.

Here's a link to the children in Jack's orphanage. It's in Spanish, but you can use google translate to decipher it.
http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.es/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=71:changzhi&catid=35:educacion

If you would like to help, let me know. I'll put you in touch with the right people.

The Favorite Chinese Restaurant

2011-09-30T01:44:00.002-05:00

I mentioned a couple of little hole in the wall places that we ate at while we were in China. In China, every place seemed to be a hole in the wall kind of place, quite literally. Unless, you were eating at a hotel. We found one place that we liked so much, we went back. All three of us could eat and have drinks for less than $5.

The pictures on the wall got us in the door. We are excellent and pointing, grunting and holding up any number of fingers to tell how many.

The view inside was pretty cute too...

The other wall... lots of options.

Our favorite was the rice with peppers and potatoes. I know it sounds weird but it tasted so good. The beef and onions with rice was another favorite. These two big plates of food, were less than $1.50 each. The best part was, it tasted so much better than the food in the hotel.

Because a few people have asked, I walked across the street and took a picture so that maybe you can find it. If you walk out of the China Hotel toward the Kings Tomb, keep walking... Eventually you hit a side street. One side has the Sino Hotel, the other is a Celebrity Salon. You'll also see a Circle K. Walk down the side street, the restaurant is on the left. Our guide said something about it being a noodle restaurant. I often wanted rice at a restaurant like this because it made feeding Jack a little easier. I wish I had tried the noodles.

Because...

2011-09-30T01:30:00.000-05:00

Because the weather here in Hong Kong isn't great...

Because a certain little boy decided that napping today is optional but I'm still trying to be quiet anyway...

Because I ate rice for lunch again... but I had really great room service pizza last night.

Because I'm waiting for Ray to get back from 7Eleven with a Coke Zero and really wish it was a large sweet tea or a Diet Dr. Pepper or better yet, Diet Sun Drop...

Because we made it to Victoria's Peak before the rain but I haven't downloaded the pictures yet...

I thought I would post a few more pictures from our strolls through the some of the parks in China.

In Hong Kong

2011-09-29T19:33:00.000-05:00

When you want to go home so badly you can taste it, you never want to hear your guide say, "Okay, I have bad news. I don't know what to do." My stomach flipped. We were standing in the lobby of our hotel with another group of adoptive families. I thought I might throw up. Things were being lost in translation. There was something about a typhoon, a warning issued in Hong Kong and no one could drive and we either had to try and find a way to the train or stay another night in Guangzhou. All I could think is, it's just money. There's nothing we can do.

I looked up and the other families were boarding their bus to Hong Kong. I thought I might ask if I could hitch a ride. Jack was starting to get fussy because we sat so long in the lobby. The guide said she was going to call the driver one more time. The warning was lifted! He was on his way! Three hours later and one windy bus ride, we drove into Hong Kong.

The silver lining. Most of those other families already knew their flights are at best very delayed or at worst cancelled. One family was supposed to use the driver we used earlier in the morning. Their flight was cancelled. The driver was stranded in Guanzhou waiting to go home, otherwise we wouldn't have had a driver. The only flight out that the other family could book was one that leaves the same day we do. Once again, I'm eating crow for Ray. I wanted to go home the second we got Jack's visa. Ray wanted to give us a buffer. I suggested more than once that see if we could get on an earlier flight. While it's not possible, we made it here safely and we're enjoying a beautiful view of the Hong Kong Harbor. We could have been delayed much, much longer.

Coming into Hong Kong at night, was gorgeous. I love the skyline of New York City at night. Driving over the suspension bridge into Hong Kong was probably the most beautiful skyline I've ever seen. Of course, I was busy keeping Jack happy and our driver was driving the wind whipped van really, really fast so I don't have a picture.

In other news, my eyes have been swollen since Taiyuan. I wore my glasses a couple of days last week which I hate and never do, just to tell you it's bad. Pretty sure I have a nasty eye infection. AKA pink eye. At least we're almost home.

Signs In China

2011-09-28T21:42:00.000-05:00

The English translations here make us laugh. I finally started taking pictures of a few of them.

The next one is hard to see but apparently accidents in the park happen after 9 p.m. You must leave to by nine to avoid an accident occurring

Changes

2011-09-28T19:47:00.001-05:00

As I sit here listening to Jack play with Ray, I'm reminded just how far he's come in the last eleven days. He's come so far. Some of the changes are so small, living this out in China, it's barely noticeable. When we watch him try to run down the hall of the hotel, we're reminded. When he lets me wrap him up in a towel out of the bathtub, we're reminded. When we see his face light up in pure joy, we're reminded. In the last eleven days, he's come so far.

When we accepted Jack's referral, I immediately started doing research about his Social Welfare Institute. The awful stories are often the first ones you find. A family disrupted their adoption because they felt misled about their daughter's health. It was one of those chills you to the bone stories that had me praying fervently that Jack was at least getting what he needed.

Slowly we started to talking to others. Their experiences were much better. There is a common bond in a lack of information though. We found out that Love Without Borders started working with Jack's orphanage. They began by training nannies in facilities in Beijing. While we were here, we found out their Spanish Arm has started a Montessori school inside the orphanage. Jack wasn't allowed to start at the school, probably because they knew he had a family. Still, big changes are happening there. My Spanish is horrible, but I'm trying to read and find out about the children there and what we might be able to do to help.

As for Jack... he has gone from a very dirty, very stinky, very quiet little guy...

to a sometimes clean, sometimes stinky, always loud joyful boy.

The first few days Jack was with us he thrashed himself back to sleep while he moaned. Now he sleeps through the night. When Jack is nervous, he places the back of his hand, palm out over his mouth. His hand covered his mouth alot those first few days. Now I could probably count the times he does that. He would smile and laugh if we really coaxed it out. Now he smiles and laughs all the time. When Jack is really anxious, his eyes go half closed and he looks as far away from you as he can. It's like he sends himself to some other place. It happens alot less now. It generally happens if we are in a small government like office. Jack's muscle tone was so low when we got him, we refused to walk very far. Last night, he hopped on the escalator with us and walked a couple of blocks. He still has a hard time running but I'm sure once he has sisters chasing him, he'll figure it out.

The communication... we knew it would be bad. In those first few days we would say, "At least he walks." He didn't say anything, even in Chinese. Now he tries. That says alot. If I sing Itsy Bitsy Spider, he tries to sing it. He'll say, "Ready!" Although, not that clearly, when he wants Ray to throw him around. He says "thank you" in Chinese but he's repeating us, I don't think he knows what it means. I'm hopeful once he has sisters constantly talking around him, he'll start to pick it up.

Jack is all boy. He likes his cars and he loves to rough house with his Daddy. Ray thinks I might possibly be ruining him by sitting him on a potty to pee. He's really not tall enough for anything else.

When we got Jack, he rarely reacted to anything. Now, because he's frustrated with us he will throw a fit. Those first few days we wondered if he would be capable of expressing emotion. Yesterday we tried to give him ice cream. He laid down on the sidewalk wailing and sobbing at the sky. While it wasn't fun, it was progress because we now know he's capable of showing emotion. That wasn't the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.

There's also the arms. One of his first tantrums was because I swaddled him in a towel. He is always freezing when we get him out of the bath. He did not want his arms wrapped. Now, he lets me wrap him and cuddle as long as I want. He absolutely will not let you cover his arms in his crib though.

That's it. Changes documented, maybe more for me than for you. Maybe one day Jack will want to hear exactly how many changes he made in the first few days with us. We're counting our many blessings with this little guy and thanking God for all of them.

Last Day In Guangzhou

2011-09-28T18:53:00.002-05:00

Today is our last day in Guangzhou. I heard someone else say at breakfast this morning, "I just want to go home where I can get a glass of water when I want it." While that would be nice. I want to go home so that I can see the girls when I want. Two weeks away have been hard on this Mama's heart. Two more sleeps, and we'll be on that plane.

We have a mostly free day today to pack things up. We did buy extra luggage mostly for the clothes Jack was wearing when we got him and his lucky tiger. Before I pack everything up... Here are a few more pictures.

More Safari Pictures

2011-09-28T00:07:00.001-05:00

I really need to write a little more about our Safari Park adventure. Clearly, feeding and petting a tiger with my new to me three-year old steps away was a memory I'll never forget. There was so much more.

We started with a train ride through the park that lasted almost forty five minutes. When it came to a stop, we saw an entire parking lot of trains...all with huge Mercedes emblems on the front. I asked Ray to take a picture. There are so many super expensive cars here. There is such a difference between the rich and the poor too. Our guide is always telling us what is expensive and what it not. I don't know if we gave her the impression that we are looking for a deal or if it's just what she does. Anyway, trains at the zoo... one more difference.

Molly asked if we would mind if her family came along with her. Of course we said the more the merrier! Her father-in-law lives with her. Her son had never been to the Safari Park. Her husband was supposed to join us but he couldn't get the day off. It took us about 45 minutes to get there, so the fact that they could come in the van was a big deal. Molly typically rides the subway. We had a great time watching her baby and her father-in-law interact. Here's Molly's baby...

After the train one of our first stops was Animal Kindergarten. Ray did not have the camera zoomed in and didn't realize how close the tiger was until after he took the picture. The glass was only about 5 feet high. We played with this little guy through the glass for a very long time and were thrilled. You can imagine how excited we were on the other side of the park to go into the glass cage.

There were lots of different baby apes in baby clothes with baby blankets. This little guy was waving at us.

The shows were very funny. The music helped us understand a little of what was going on. This girl was in the Monkey King show. It didn't really hold Jack's attention but apparently Monkey King is a very big deal in China. Molly was really excited about this show. She's holding one snake with another one wrapped around her waist.

We were watching a bird show when the music got loud and this guy rides out on a hippo. You can not make this stuff up!

Since college, I've had a true love/admiration of a panda. There were twelve in the safari park. I was really excited to go inside, even having the great views we've had at the Memphis zoo. Molly offered to take this picture after we tried to feed Jack lunch. (Notice the word tried.) I think I whispered to Ray as we were grinning from ear to ear, "Fake it until we make it."

Then we got to see the pandas.

They were great, so close, so lazy.

Jack really seemed to love them as much as his Mama. See the nasty cup in his hand...someone else's trash. I have to watch him every second or he would claim every piece of trash in China as his own. At this point taking it away just wasn't worth it.

This was the tiger show. Not kidding... 13 white tigers. This was after the bear playing basketball, the tiger playing tug of rope with the audience and the 10 lions. I've never been to Vegas, but I'm thinking they don't have the same number of animals in their shows.

Clearly we loved the Safari Park. If you are coming soon, we started at the north gate and got on the train first. We had the driver pick us up at the south gate. You can pet the tiger just as you finish with the pandas. The cub was no where near any of the other tigers. If Molly hadn't been with us, we would never have known. You pay 30yuan in cash when you get in the room. Everyone can go in the room. Only one adult can feed the tiger and be in the picture. Let me know if you go!

Almost American

2011-09-27T23:38:00.001-05:00

This morning we had our appointment at the consulate. We took the immigration oath on Jack's behalf. Then we processed paperwork. Our names were the first called. Our appointment was for 8:30 and we were out before nine.

No cameras are allowed in the consulate so this is Jack in our room after the appointment was finished. He'll be an American citizen when we touch down in Detroit.

We have been begging our guide to get us to a supermarket. We've had no time. Today since we were out early, she took us to the outlet mall that has a supermarket inside. Our driver wasn't our driver for long today so we were just able to run in and pick up a few things for the plane. I would have loved to stay all day. She said the market was like the French version of Wal-Mart. There were lots of American brand names and "Factory Store" signs. I never got a chance to compare prices though. That's okay... after a trip to China, we're broke anyway.

I Fed a Baby Tiger!

2011-09-27T08:24:00.002-05:00