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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

About Yesterday

More to the point... about yesterday's post. Thank you for the comments and the couple of emails and the texts. I'm totally okay. Thank you for asking. Thanks you immensely for keeping us on your prayer list. Trying to not ramble I should maybe kept yesterday's post too simple. Emily understands. (Since I mentioned her, hop on over to Team Alexander to read about what she was doing in Ethiopia while I was hopping around China.) Once again, I digress...which is why yesterday was short.

I've been struggling with a few things. One is, so many people comment on the wonderful, wonderful thing we have done. I have no idea how to reply to those statements that seem to put us on a pedestal. It's especially hard when there are few things more humbling than dealing with a three year old who can't communicate and refuses to eat. In fact, Jack is growing me too, showing me how selfish and self absorbed I can be but that's another post. Here are a few thoughts that run through my mind when people tell us how lucky Jack is to have us as parents...

  1. It was God, not us. I would never have imagined in a million years even 5 years ago that we would go looking for a special needs child for our family. Yes, I hope he finds our family a much better place than where he was, especially considering his living conditions. There are moments when I still feel woefully inadequate.
  2. Jack is a gift to us just as much as we are a gift to him. I read this post at 5 a.m. this morning. I have my husband's alarm clock to thank. It says it better than I can. 
  3. I am not a super human, super mom, saint or extra special. I don't think Ray would mind me saying that he isn't either. We just decided to act. Most of the time it works our great. Sometimes it's very, very hard. In the end it's all worth it. Back up to number one... it's not us. 
  4. After gushing over what we've done, of the many questions we've had since coming home, one I hear a lot is "Should we be doing this to?" It is generally followed with, "I don't think I want to." I have the hardest time answering this one. I think if you are supposed to adopt, you know. You'll find a way. We would love to encourage anyone. Right now, just home, I'm also aware of how hard the transition can be. It's sort of like asking the mother in labor if you should go ahead and get pregnant. Pretty sure it's between you and your spouse and God. I'm here for you if you want to chat about other particulars. 
That's it. I haven't taken a single picture since the airport. Jack is still getting used to our house and our routines. He loves having the girls, even our little Napoleon around. Of course right now, they are in a sort of honeymoon period and for the most part they dote on his every need. He is eating a little more. He is pretty pitiful and just about every meal. We don't think he knows how to chew. He tolerates spicy but not different flavors. He is still not fond of Tucker. Poor Tucker is feeling a bit deprived these days. Jack is slowly coming around but not really ready to accept a giant slobbery kiss that Tucker really wants to give him. 

Bria... she's too awesome for words. She is trying really hard to share. I'm trying really hard to carve out space for her. She has really stepped up to her role as big sister. I think she grew like 6 inches since we were gone and matured a couple of years. I could still eat her up. 

Hanan... her big heart will carry her through anything. She really stepped it up at school, which was one of my worries before I left. She's starting a cheer group and really excited. She plays with Jack every night.

Arleigh...the mother hen she always was. She is a little Mama in training, taking care of all of us. She understands the pressure a little more than the other two and is trying her best to help while tackling her growing schedule.

That's it for now. Again... not a saint ;)


Sharon Ankerich said...

what a great post that we all whom have adopted can completely relate to. You are right~ no saints... just normal people hearing a call in their hearts to bring home a child to love forever through thick and thin and believe me... NO ONE gets 'after the airport' until they have been through it. Yes it is a honeymoon at first and then real life enters in. Even after the first year home with SJ, I am up about 3-4 times a night but wouldn't trade it for anything!!! EK home for 5 years still has things we work on but don't ALL children have 'things'? Yes! SO, I completely agree~ IF you think you should adopt, grab onto someone who can encourage you and just do it!!! You're right~ you will know. Thank you for having the mind to write this great post still so close to coming home. Don't think I was thinking this clearly so soon~ actually in hospital with SJ having open heart by the 3rd day. Yilkes~ talk about heart wrenching!!! Anyway praying like crazy for all things!!! Blessings and love, XO.

Anonymous said...

what do you think would be an encouraging thing/best thing to say to a new parent after an adoption? -its kelly, but i had to post anonymous...so secretive;)

Allison said...

I love you! I pray daily for you--and specifically that Jack will eat :)

heidi said...

Well, I should've read this post first before commenting on the last post! HA! Oh well. I still mean it!

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