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Monday, September 26, 2011

Help Me!

This is the post that could be alternately titled, "Split Pants Potties Diapers Pull Ups and Poop In The Bathtub." Yes, I just went there. Unfortunately there are pictures.

If you are here from Facebook, Chinese children don't wear diapers. They were split pants. I don't know how many times since we've been there that we see a Mom holding her child to pee over the grass or a toddler squatting in flowers. The squatting no wiping might also explain the horrible smell that hung around Jack when they handed him to us. The boy reminded me of pig pen from Charlie Brown. He cleaned up nicely though.

Here's the problem. Jack doesn't communicate in Chinese much less English. I think he just squatted and went wherever he was. He doesn't say Nu Nu or Shu Shu or whatever it is other Chinese children say. He just looks at us with a look that says, "Oh no! I think I just crapped my pants!" whether he has or not. We race to get to the potty. 75% of the time we are successful. If I had a working washer and dryer and it didn't take 48 hours for things to air dry here, I might not mind so much. Right now, stuck in a hotel room it's a bit of a pickle. 

Yesterday, I threw in the towel. I gave up. I bought diapers. I would have paid big money for pull ups but they are no where to be found. We are treating the few we have like gold for the plane. I bought the diapers, came upstairs, Jack peed on the potty. I put Jack in the bathtub and started to wash out more clothes. I heard a toot, granted a loud toot. The realization hit too late. He sat there and pooped in the tub without uttering a sound. 

I snatched him up and threw him on the potty. I'm only showing the world this absolutely horrible picture of me because I want you to know that while I took care of the potty business, Ray was taking pictures. Yes, even of the floater... gross. 

So, you been there done that parents. I've potty trained before and not under easy circumstances. Potty training without communication with someone who generally has control and happily goes when we ask, has me stumped. I know it's nothing to really worry about in China, but if you have advice, I'm here to listen!

Speaking of listening, if you have ideas for helping get little dude to eat something that doesn't involve rice or a noodle, I'm all ears. If he sees it, he doesn't want it. We found he'll eat just about anything as long as it is wrapped in rice. Sometimes texture might cause him to spit it out. The fact that he won't let anything other than rice or noodles cross his lips without a fight is starting to downright annoy me. My girls eat, everything. We make them. Clearly, I'm not going to do that to Jack when he doesn't even trust us. There are moments when I want to yell at him to just put the piece of fruit in his mouth. (Just keeping it real.) We think there might be a possibility that he has rickets. He needs to gain weight, and by something other than plain steamed rice. He clearly needs to eat something a little more nutritious. It's also hard when you see the other babies eating anything you put in front of them. 

That's it. That's all the whining I have for the moment. I'm trying to keep things in perspective. Jack acts more and more like one of the children in the book I read before we came. It upset me so much to read how the kids were being treated in the Shanxi orphanages. Now, I think it's helped me to remember to be compassionate with him. 


Kristie said...

We had a few accidents with Jenna in China, but boy they made my stomach do flips when it did happen. I think while you are there and and until he can communicate better diapers are the best thing to. We had to go back to them for a few weeks.

devineys said...

You said he loves milk, so maybe he'll also love milkshakes. You can get a lot of extra calories into a kid with a milk shake. I've done that with Ethan. Make them with heavy whipping cream instead of milk, add those chocolate or vanilla pediasure drinks to add vitamins. Sorry, can't help on the potty issues. Ethan still wears a Pull-up at night.

Sharon Ankerich said...

I think my first advice would be put him back in diapers and forget the potty training for a while. They told us SJ was potty trained but had accidents so we put her back in diapers until she was attached well and secure. Made a huge difference!!! When you are back home, you can give him Ensure or something like that to pump the calories and nutrients in him. Right now, just let him eat whatever he will eat and not fight it. Worry about all the hard stuff when you get home. Just get through the time there as carefree as possible. Bless your sweet heart! It is SO hard not to have access to washer and dryer!!! The floater almost made me toss my lunch. LOL Anyway, praying you are sleeping so good right now!!! XO

Anonymous said...

Hi, I stumbled upon you blog a few days ago. We adopted a little boy in 2008 from Shanxi. He was in the LinFen SWI. Not sure if your little Jack is from there or not. My son did not eat well either and had low iron when we took him for his 1st peds visit. I agree with the poster above, while in China just give Jack what he will eat. It took a while, but Connor now eats well, so there is hope. :) Connor also came to us in split pants. He was 2 so he put him in diapers right away. It may be easier for you to do as well until you get home. Hope the rest of your trip goes well. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi, As you know our daughter is from the same SWI as Jack. For some reason there are major eatting and food issues in this SWI. Our daughter was 2.5 when we got her and she had never ate any food ever. Only a bottle. She freaked if we went near her with a spoon. We fed her pedisure through her bottle and that is it. (pedisure is in a purple box in China, it will be in the same aisle with formula if you wanted to try it, it is a powder you mix with water) .
Once we were home for about 3 weeks we were successful in getting her to taste whip cream which she loved. She now eats from a spoon but only baby food, and only if we sweeten it with pudding or baby food bananas. She will not chew, and she will not pick anything up and put it in her mouth herself. (she is 2 months away from being 3 now).
I would love to know why the kids in this SWI have so many feeding issues.

Patti Pitcher (Stiff Fam member) said...

Can't the orphanage tell you what he eats? They had to feed him something with the rice and noodles.My nephew Caleb(Korean)is a very picky eater too.He eats alot of rice and a couple bits of fruit but his appetite is not good.I know he's not a baby but what about some kind of baby food...I mean that toddler kind? Probably hard to find like the pull ups.Tell my cousin Ray that him being Daddy,needs to put the camera down and help with the potty training...man to man...lol.

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