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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Update I Didn't Want

Ray is somewhere between here and Las Vegas. He is away at work, not play this week. I joked that our LOA would probably come today because he is going to be gone all week. Oh how I would love to have that problem right now.

It seems that the new guy in Ch*na got our dossier. That new guy didn't do what he was supposed to do. We've been set back...a long way back. The good news is, it's being processed. The good news is, eventually we'll go get him. That's what I'm trying desperately to hold onto right now.

The truth is I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I have no one to take it out on. The problem is my own. I convinced myself that since we were stepping out with so many unknowns surely we would be blessed with at least a normal process time. I assumed that because we aren't getting updates or information, surely we would be blessed to get to him and bring him home quickly. My assumptions only led to my disappointment.

Ray is a rock. He knows it's all in God's time. We'll get him exactly when we are supposed to get him. He thinks of the good after that. I however think about where he is, barely adequate at best more awful than most things I could imagine at it's worse. I think about a child in that situation for the last three years. There are finally people ready to stand up for him and they face one more wall. I start wonder if we are being prepared for something. I know there are much harder things than this process. That doesn't mean I want to experience it first hand. I really prefer smooth sailing every now and then. I must say the bumps were easier when I thought it would just lead to the child we were supposed to have. A delay is okay if it meant us finding who God wanted us to find. A bump now is so much more. One more day of cold institution. One more day of wondering if there will be food. One more day of consoling yourself.

The deal is, the paperwork has been found. It should be sent somewhere else by next week. I believe it was referred to as Room 2. I don't know how many rooms there are or how many steps there are to get it to us. I just know what was supposed to be here isn't here. I'm sorry that one human error is making one little boy wait so much longer for his forever.


Kristie said...

I'm so sorry you are having these problems. You have every right to be frustrated and feel down. I am praying for good news very soon.

Sharon Ankerich said...

I too am SO sorry you are dealing with this. And I know I am not the one it happened to and may still happen to but do take comfort that God's timing is perfect and His protection is perfect too. He loves little Jack SO much and will take care of him while he waits. I know your mama heart is breaking!!! Mine would be too! I am praying for you right now and hoping they fast track your paperwork TODAY!!! Praying God blesses you BIG today!!! I have a friend in China that just started a new business sending packages and getting updates. I would think she would go over and beyond to get you one just because she is new. I LOVE her!!! She was our guide when we were in Fuzhou. A beautiful girl!!! Let me know.

heidi said...

Ugh! I'm so sorry, Brandi. It's so hard to find positive in something that seem,s so obviously negative. I would be mad, too. ((hugs)) my friend.

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