Ray is somewhere between here and Las Vegas. He is away at work, not play this week. I joked that our LOA would probably come today because he is going to be gone all week. Oh how I would love to have that problem right now.
It seems that the new guy in Ch*na got our dossier. That new guy didn't do what he was supposed to do. We've been set back...a long way back. The good news is, it's being processed. The good news is, eventually we'll go get him. That's what I'm trying desperately to hold onto right now.
The truth is I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I have no one to take it out on. The problem is my own. I convinced myself that since we were stepping out with so many unknowns surely we would be blessed with at least a normal process time. I assumed that because we aren't getting updates or information, surely we would be blessed to get to him and bring him home quickly. My assumptions only led to my disappointment.
Ray is a rock. He knows it's all in God's time. We'll get him exactly when we are supposed to get him. He thinks of the good after that. I however think about where he is, barely adequate at best more awful than most things I could imagine at it's worse. I think about a child in that situation for the last three years. There are finally people ready to stand up for him and they face one more wall. I start wonder if we are being prepared for something. I know there are much harder things than this process. That doesn't mean I want to experience it first hand. I really prefer smooth sailing every now and then. I must say the bumps were easier when I thought it would just lead to the child we were supposed to have. A delay is okay if it meant us finding who God wanted us to find. A bump now is so much more. One more day of cold institution. One more day of wondering if there will be food. One more day of consoling yourself.
The deal is, the paperwork has been found. It should be sent somewhere else by next week. I believe it was referred to as Room 2. I don't know how many rooms there are or how many steps there are to get it to us. I just know what was supposed to be here isn't here. I'm sorry that one human error is making one little boy wait so much longer for his forever.