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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Geocaching With The Pretties

Someone asked me a few days ago when I planned on doing another "Pretties" post. Well, with the storms... there hasn't been much of a show. Until a break in the clouds last week, one beautiful sunny day and it was quite the show.

I've talked about the car lines starting to line up at like 3 in the afternoon when dismissal is at 4. I should also state that I only know this because of my husband acting as a Watch D.O.G. (Dads of Great Students) He is forced out the door before dismissal and witnesses the display. Anyway, a few days ago, I took Bria to the park and we got in line a little before 3:30. I was hoping for the elusive nap for my now non-napping three-year old. I got a show.

I've seen one particular Pretty flitting from car to car with her filled tumbler in her hand. I've often wondered if she thinks the car line is one big Tail Gate event. Jokes on me! It is!!! This one day, I pulled up, got out my magazine and braced myself for Bria's storm before her nap calms her. I look over and there are about a gazillion 10 chairs and blankets spread out on the school lawn close to the sidewalk that starts the line. Coolers were out. A radio was going. Serious snacks were laid out that no one was eating. I swear the only things missing were the bikinis and suntan lotion. Speaking of bikinis... some bikinis would probably cover more than that one pair of shorts did. Clearly, I'm just disgruntled because I wasn't invited.

Then I hear that Hanan's troop is going to earn a geocaching badge. I had a great time with Hanan. It was fun to watch her fun ahead with her friends and find the little boxes and bottles. It's also fun to hear Mom's who barely put clothing on wonder if they'll get poison ivy walking through the forest. I watched Hanan race off with her friends as I heard stories about where the best place is to live and where the best BBQ is. As someone who grew up close to Memphis, let me explain something to you, BBQ is almost never bad. When it's good, there is nothing better. It quite literally will make your tongue slap your brains out. The best tamales in town do not make it the best BBQ joint in town. I shutter to think what might have happened if a true Memphian (yes, that's what they are called) ever heard such BBQ sacrilege.

Lately some of the pretties have decided that the cool thing to do is come to the Girl Scout meeting in super short, tight running gear stinking to high heaven. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all about exercise and going for a run. Smelling like a goat in heat in a small room with fifteen girls and their mothers isn't a good idea for me. I can't pull it off. Stink and cottage cheese thighs are just not that cute. Of course, they are probably complaining about me bringing my whole entourage of children when Ray is out of town making the room seem even smaller. Frankly, most of them really are runners... again, green envy. They make stank look good.

I do actually have a favorite pretty. I want to be her when I grow up. She is tall. She doesn't care if she wears makeup. She's so silly and fun all the girl scouts love her. The best thing is, she can come to a meeting in old sweats, tight t-shirts and no bra and make it look good. Seriously, I'm jealous that anyone my age can have boobs that still salute... She's got that and she's fun and cute. I call a flag on the geocaching play!

I don't know what I'll do when we leave here and I don't have the Pretties to entertain me. Other things I'll miss about Memphis include the fact that the entire area is flooding but the biggest news is that the location of the Memphis In May BBQ Festival is changing. It won't be on the river! I know! Can you imagine? It's scrolled across the bottom of my screen all the time. I guess it's probably a post for another day. Good news... one of the Pretties has a husband competing in the cook off. I know you can't wait!


heidi said...

Oh, those Pretties. I call them the Latte Mom's here. I'm always the odd mom out at Cara's school, no matter how much thought I put into what I'm wearing, etc. They have their new SUVs and their new clothes and their pricey lattes. I show up in Old Navy jeans in my used Suburban with my coffee from home in a to go cup.

Yeah, they snub me. But it's ok. I didn't want to hang with them, anyway.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

This was a hoot! I love the description of the pretties! Hello? There is an age where it is OK to just say, "Yep, I am PAST that point, and need to let it go. Instead, let's go for class..!"

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