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Monday, March 21, 2011

If You Care

So there is someone in my life who likes to tell me how much she cares. It starts emails. It starts text messages. Just about any sort of social media.... this person really cares. So as I sat in my car tonight with three little girls hyped up on a sugar rush from Sonic ice cream and one of them breaks their lovely Styrofoam cup throwing strawberry bits of goodness all over the mom mobile, I wondered if she really cares. I wonder because I'm sitting in the car 10 minutes later than I'm supposed to be waiting for doors to open and alarms to be turned off.

Here are my thoughts as I picked little red and pink flecks out of a car seat and carpet and whatever else it hit. I think it's helpful hints for all of us really.

If you really care, be on time. Maybe it's because I am essentially married to the military. If you can be 10 minutes late every time consistently, you are making a choice. If you are always 10 minutes late, you have the potential to always be on time. Being on time shows you care. Being early shows how much you care.

If you really care, don't call my house after I don't know, 9:45 unless you are my adoption agency, have a serious emergency or you have my express permission. You probably won't wake me up but if I even get a hint that you woke up one of my littles it tends to send me over the edge. If you care, call before 8 or just shoot me a text.

If you really care, your texts don't have to be so long that it takes 4 texts to send them. "See you at ____ tomorrow at ____ thanks!" works great for me. If I have a question I'll send you a text back, promise.

If you really care, end your meeting in a timely fashion. On any given week at 8 p.m. I probably have three children, soon to be four to put in bed by myself. One of them is notorious for taking as long as she possibly can. I blame the book, Llama Llama Red Pajama. I will love you forever if you stay on time and keep my schedule on time. That shows me just how much you really care.

If you really care, don't assume that since I don't have a paying job and that I have nothing but time on my hands. I have three children that each have their own schedules. You can't send me a text message at 11 p.m. the night before and expect I'll magically show up at 8 a.m. even on a weekend. My world doesn't work that way. I'm always happy to help if you give me enough time to work you into the schedule.

While we're talking about assumptions... if you really care, don't assume that I will always know exactly what you need or that you're overwhelmed. I'm happy to help. I'm happy to step in. That's one of the reasons I don't have a paid position, but again, a little communication goes a long way.

Thanks for listening and caring while I got that off my chest. (Was that another assumption? Whoops.)


Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Oh dear, was this about me? The whole time thing? I am SO bad, but try SO hard to be on time places.
And the meeting thing? Oh yes, It was So hard when I did PTO and the meetings went really late. As it was, Corey and I were passing the kids off, so we never saw each other those nights.

But! I am working on this whole late thing. Later. (Kidding...!)

heidi said...

I have a friend like that. So hard to just overlook and remember it's just part of who they are.

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