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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Random Late Night Thoughts

I'm in bed with my phone wondering how my kids got the no sleep needed
gene when I desperately need, want, love and frankly have an unhealthy
desire for sleep. Never let anyone tell you God doesn't have a sense
of humor. As I'm quietly stuck listening to the dog snore and Bria
toss and turn, I must stay confined to my room so I don't wake Arleigh
up. She decided the leather sofa is the most comfortable (coolest)
spot in the house. We'll see how comfortable it is when her back drips
with sweat and her thighs stick to the cushions. Yes, I spend too much
time on the sofa too!

Anyway, I took a bit of a blog break last week. It wasn't just because
of the insane schedule. I've been wondering if everything I write
sounds down. Does it?

While we've had an adjustment period, I've started to really like it
here. I can see that if nothing else, what my girls are getting out of
this church is worth being here. I could say the same for me. I'm a
little afraid to commit and say I love it because that would make
leaving here in 2 years just too hard.

I've been thinking alot about the differences in our last two duty
stations. I (clearly) like the schools better there. I miss my friends
dearly. I miss long adult conversations. I'm sort of latched on to a
group of friends here and we do something almost every Friday but it's
not the same.

I could do a whole post on the change of lifestyle we have. I live in
the country with almost immediate access to the city for both good and
bad. I have killed more animals with my car in the last few weeks than
I can ever remember hurting. Maybe they were just maimed. Last night I
stopped to wait while ducks crossed the road and a few hours later I
narrowly missed a deer. While I hate that a bird committed suicide on
my winshield on Easter and that squirrel made the grave error of
turning back last week, I love that we are exposing the girls to both
city and country life. I just wish the beach was a smidge closer.

Other late night thoughts have me considering homeschool. I never
thought those words would be uttered from mouth. They come a bit
easier when one of the only private schools I would consider told me
tuition would be almost $9,000 per child per year. That's right! Do
you know what I could do with $18000? What happens when it's time for
Bria to start? What happens when I have 4 in school? Do you know
what's even crazier? Their academic curriculum is the same as the
public school. They add Bible and 1/2 hour of Spanish once a week.
Plus my kids would probably learn to be snobs but that's personal
opinion based on the unnamed school.

Do you ever have a hard time blogging about topics like where to send
your kids to school, that someone's making you crazy, etc? Do you
wonder or care about what people think? Do you wonder if people will
stop reading if you try to advocate for a cause?

Sometimes I wonder if all I should write about is Arleigh asking if
"bad ass" is a naughty word. Yes, she asked on the way to church. When
I told her it was she just said, "thought so." and went about her
business. The book she was reading has been confiscated.

Do you only want to hear about Bria's love of the zoo and all things
panda, Yaya in particular. Do you want to know how she bangs on the
glass holding her stuffed panda yelling, "Look it! Yaya! I have it a
Yaya!" It is pretty darn cute.

Do you want to always hear about the fact that our homestudy is
dragging out and I feel like it's our fault? Do you care that I beat
myself up at night wondering who might be waiting for us? Should I
tell you about orphan care and how you can help or just tell you about
the giant pile of poo I cleaned up because I've finally been shamed
into potty training?

I'm finally wearing down. At least my thumbs are. This seems like
another downer of a post. I really would like to know, do you ever
struggle with what to put out there?


Sent from my iPhone


The Driskells said...

Um, yeah!!! I struggle with what to put out there. Do people want to listen to my pitiful stay-at-home mom stories? Do they care about my random thoughts? If I get on my "soap box" will anyone actually read it?
Sometimes I post those things, sometimes I don't. I originally started my blog for the grandparents/family that live far away, so when I struggle over what to share, I usually just end up putting up pictures of my kids. That's why there are so many!
I enjoy reading what you write. As your friend, I am interested in what's going on with your family, be it struggles or funny stories or whatever!
I do have to admit that I'm a bit jealous that you can blog from your phone! : ) I don't have that luxury yet!
Keep on with your blog! You are one my few friends who actually shares some interesting thoughts! Most like mine, are just pictures of kids.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Of course we all do. However, many of us also feel like we are not being truthful if we do not put some of the truth out here. You are awesome and did what you needed to do. You have a lot on your mind, and writing it down really helps, doesn't it? I am here if you need it. ~

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