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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

My Tweeter Is Busted

Every day I'm shocked to see the following in my email box "______ (some random name of some person I probably don't know) is now following you on twitter." I do know a few people who are following me, but not 88.8% of them. I think my last tweet said, "trying to figure out how to use this thing." Shamefully, I gave up and never went back. I'm really not sure what all those people think they're following. Can you follow someone who is standing perfectly still?

I am addicted to all forms of social networking. I'm also technologically, electronically and all forms of mechanically challenged. The fact that I manage to log into facebook or post to this blog multiple times a day, adding pictures, text and any other graphic is nothing short of miraculous. I heard about twitter. I read celebrity tweets. I wonder if I'm using the correct vernacular then make an assumption that I'm not. I sign up.

Wait. We don't have unlimited texting. I don't text. I share an email address with my husband who already asks why I get tons of email every day from facebook and any number of yahoo groups that I stalk. What exactly am I supposed to do with twitter? I don't mind reading other people's tweets. I can't imagine that you would want to read mine or know what I'm doing every second of the day.

Here is a list of things I might tweet...
  • That was possibly the fullest, nastiest diaper I've ever seen. I need a bio-hazard suit or a real mom to potty train this child stat.
  • How can my girls get ready for school in 2.5 minutes but it takes 20 minutes for us to get everyone into the car and buckled?
  • I hate 3rd grade math.
  • Why are my children asked to memorize the states and capitals? Isn't that why Al Gore invented the internet? (Did you hear Ray choke?)
  • Time for Lost!
  • I need a recording on a loop for Bria that says "Stop! Yes you will bump your head!Put it back in his bowl! Be nice to Tucker! They'll be home soon! I wish Daddy was coming too! Stop! No! Rock the baby sweetly. No! No more gummies. You've had enough! Put it away. Pick it up. Stop! No no! Don't jump on the sofa. Yes, jump on the floor..."
  • I'm sorry Conan was left with 40 million and nothing to do after I go to bed but really, can we picket for something that matters, like children dying.
  • Why are we running late again?
  • Where is the laundry monster that eats the socks and multiplies the piles? I need to kill it!
My day consists of house keeping, diaper changing, hair brushing, laundry, children bathing, shopping, blogging, wanna be crafting but I really am not talented, cooking, planning, homework, etc. Does is really require social commentary on a blog, facebook, and twitter. Does anyone really care that I found out the Pottery Barn up the street is closing and I just got a $100 tablecloth for $14.64? Did you want to know what just came out of my kids or that I worry about all their gas? Frankly, I'm not that interesting and we are more than a little disgusting.

For the fact that I'm not interesting, social commentary is almost dangerous for me. I don't have a stop reflex sometimes. I have to wonder if I've said something that hurts someone else. I wonder if my political leanings have ruined a friendship. Don't get me started on church and religion. Plus, there are times with I want to update my blog, status, etc... and I can't because I don't want to hurt the other person in spite of the fact that it's downright hilarious. While I'm at it, I can't limit anything to 40 words or less.

So for now my tweeter is busted. It's broken and I don't know if I will ever bother to fix it. Instead, find me on facebook where I already say more than I need to.

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