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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Defining A Mom's Sacrifice

So, in the last week I've read more than one blog post about sacrifice. That's right. It got me thinking and we all know that's very, very dangerous.

I want to know. How do you define sacrifice? On another blog in the last 2 or 3 weeks, it was defined as giving something up with no expectation of return. As in, you don't get anything back for what you've lost. Folks, that's a huge, big old sacrifice. I think maybe that definition would apply more if the word selfless was thrown in somewhere. Like, her sacrifice was selfless... I'm not sure.

This afternoon I read this post. I commented. I felt a profound thought coming on and then it left me like a thief in the night. So I ask you, dear blog reader person, mom, sister, brother, random reader, what is sacrifice?

Webster's defines it like this:
Main Entry: 1sac·ri·fice
Pronunciation: \ˈsa-krə-ˌfīs, also -fəs or -ˌfīz\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin sacrificium, from sacr-, sacer + facere to make — more at do
Date: 13th century

1 : an act of offering to a deity something precious; especially : the killing of a victim on an altar
2 : something offered in sacrifice
3 a : destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else b : something given up or lost s made by parents>
4 : loss
5 : sacrifice hit

To be considered a sacrifice, do you really not gain anything? I sacrifice my time, my heart, my love, my consideration, my money, my wants, my needs and often my desires all the time because it would be better for my family. If it's better for my family, isn't it better for me? Is it really a sacrifice then or is it a compromise? Is it letting go of something so that something can be better? Isn't it in my best interest to invest everything I have in my children now so that I can know they are well adjusted adults later? If I sacrificed my relationship with Ray it in turn would eventually hurt my kids so no real sacrifice and no real gain, just stupid.

My head is swimming in circles. I think the bigger point is, we each need to do what we need to do to fulfill our role as a mother in the best way we know how. Darn. I think that is what Shawni said in a much more profound, balanced and concise way.

I think the point of my head swimming in circles is this. Find your balance. Forget what you're giving up and look to what you're creating and getting out of it. Invest in your family first and you'll be happy later. If we do that, will any of these things we do as Moms seem sacrificial?

1 comment:

heidi said...

Can't sacrifice and compromise go hand in hand? Don't you sometimes need to make sacrifices in order for there to be a compromise?

"destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else"

If you can't gain anything for it to be considered a sacrifice then I would argue there is no such thing a sacrifice. Everyone stands to gain something when they sacrifice. God sacrificed His Son in order to gain our redemption. If the ultimate sacrifice resulted in a gain, of sorts, then how can every other sacrifice be considered without gain?

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