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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thoughts From A Crazy Lady

So I'm sitting on the floor or my car dealership, phone in hand. (Thanks to the hubby, I can blog from anywhere!) I'm trying to entertain 3 little girls in a room smaller than my half bath. So far, so good. They are ignoring me for the giant balloons some kind stranger gave them...you know, the giant car dealership balloons, that are bigger than Bria. So while they are pretending this tiny room is a boxing gym and Bria is reading her books, I'm going to try and get down some thoughts.

This is absolutely crazy. I've debated blogging about this for a month or so, but you never know what the response might be. Since Ray outed me to our LIFE Group last month and my mother last week, I might as well go ahead and spill the beans to you too...all two of you reading this that is. I've been researching adoption.

Oh my that sounds absolutely nuts to me right now as I have been sitting on this floor for half an hour, mopping up lemonade spills and and acting as a part time referee. Bria has thrown herself on the floor at least 6 times in screaming fits that she is quickly distracted from. Is this crazy? Apparently 3 miscarriages in less than a year can tend to make you go a little nutty.

So, with my busy life with 3 girls, why would this come up? I've told you that our church is helping a sister church in Nigeria. You can check it out here. I've witnessed how much just a little bit by our standards can change lives. That started my research on poverty and orphan care. It started to grow exponentially after Ray returned from Ethiopia and started talking about the children who were begging for water and coming out of the bushes looking for Americans. It was around that time that I found Sam and Esther and their sister, Jane. You may remember this post. If you haven't watched the video I encourage you to watch it with some tissues.

Sam and Esther led me to this verse...Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act. Proverbs 24:12

I started telling Ray that I felt like my eyes are open to the plight of orphans everywhere but I didn't know where to start. Frankly, as I'm watching my kids run around this tiny room like wild little Indians, I'm wonder what on earth I can do right now. Where does this fit in with our life? And I'm reminded that we are commanded to look after widows and orphans in the Bible, but my favorite verse, is this, Religion that God our Father Accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.--- James 1:27 because this is what I want my girls to know, a pure relationship with God. As I'm watching them playing in this tiny room (we've been here well over and hour now, I'm taking breaks to read books, play with cows and ring around the roseys) I think about the child that is so hungry for love and attention and their basic human needs to be met. Don't we have room to help?

Check out what one Mom has done here. I just watched a news story about her on a Nashville Fox station. It amazes me how she just decided she would help and she did. I want to decide to help but I don't know how. Before Bria, I researched Guatemala adoptions. Before I could even think about adopting or even really consider it with Ray, I was pregnant with Bria...then Jessa. So now, I'm back to researching countries, considering domestic adoption and wondering if there is a better way to help. I constantly ask myself if this is about filling a personal desire or about what God wants.

Well, I'm going into my third hour and apparently the Mom Mobile is almost ready. Hopefully I haven't sounded too crazy and many times as I started and stopped. I have so much more on my heart, I think most of it will go into my journal, but for now, pray for answers on what God wants next for us. Maybe throw in a prayer for my Mom too, she officially has 8 grandchildren and one more on the way. Reading this might send her over the edge... I'm off to find out what the damage was. Thanks for making the Car Doctor a bit easier.


Lisa said...

1. I hate, hate, hate waiting on the car to be fixed.

2. I know where you are coming from with the miscarriages. We had 2 before Amelia.

3. Prayers that the right decision comes to you.

The Driskells said...

I just read that James passage this morning and wonder too what we can do. My prayers for you as you seek God's will for your family!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

YOu are awesome. Whether your life seems crazy with the children you have right now or not, you are doing an amazing thing. Don't let a crazy moment like this make you doubt what God has in store for your family. I am so impressed by the people who bring a child into their lives through adoption. It is a beautiful thing!

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