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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Loving The Unlovable

This may be one of those posts you want to skip over. I've had that phrase, loving the unlovable rolling through my head. I think I need some blog therapy. No, I'm not talking about my kids. They are always lovable, even when acting like a giant pain in my posterior. I think that's why God made them so darn cute. I'm talking about the other people, not our relatives that are so hard to love and how do I teach that to my kids?

I have been thinking about Matthew 5:46 on and off for the past couple of months and what that verse means. That God calls me to love the people that are my enemies. It says, "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" If God is really calling us to that? How do I manage it? How do I teach that to my kids?

Arleigh came home from school today and said, "I think there is a contagious disease at school." I'm thinking she's talking about the swine flu. "No Mama, it's called meanness! First it was just M who was mean to everyone but now A has it too. They were banging C's head today. I think she wanted to cry." So two mean little girls were banging another little girl's head into a wall. It was during P.E. when all four 2nd grade classes are together. I don't know what I would have done if it had been Arleigh's head. I'd be volunteering during P.E. too I guess. There is no way the P.E. teachers can catch everything. (I'm getting off topic.)

I started thinking about this verse in particular because as the church secretary, I see many unpleasant things. I was reading an article about this very verse. The article addressed rapist and murderers. Yes, I find loving them hard but there is something about someone who clearly has no faith that makes me feel pity no matter what horrible things they've done. It's the disappointing things that some of my fellow Christians do that really gets me worked up. Shouldn't they no better? Sadly, a few don't. A few do and just don't care. Those are the people that I have a hard time loving. Those people are my mean school girls.

It's the people who take advantage of the inherent goodness of a church family. The little girls who say they are your friend and then stab you in the back. That seems like a real enemy. I want my girls to stand up for themselves. How do I teach them to do that and still represent their Christian faith? How do you display your love for your fellow man and not become a doormat?

As I look over this, I'm not sure I can post it. I can't talk about what's really going on that has me so frustrated. All I can say if that I'm frustrated when people continue to make horrible choices that adversely affect their children and the people around them. It's doubly frustrating when these people expect someone, either a church or the government to bail them out so they can continue to make bad choices and continue to lead innocent children with them. If I'm having a hard time finding love and sympathy in my heart for these people who haven't hurt me, how am I supposed to teach my girls to show love and compassion to the mean girls at school?

I took a break from typing this to tuck my girls in bed. Every night they are praying for a baby brother or a baby sister. Tonight it changed to "we don't care what it is as long as it's not dead." Unfortunately, this is not the first time I've heard this. It was mentioned about 2 months ago. Hmmmm...Maybe there are other things I need to worry about.


Shanan said...

What a great post! I completely agree with you and I think it is even harder when you have children and you become their advocate. It is a combination of knowing to do the right thing that God wants us to do and fighting the evil temptation of hating the sinner. When you find how to overcome this, let me know so I can! :)

I am going to send your girls something in the mail that I have made, but I am so bad at going to the post office so it probably won't get mailed until the first of next week. Are you still at the same address that I sent your Christmas card?

I will let you know when I mail it. It should take about 4 days to get there I would think.

I miss you! Hang in there-Shanan :)

Ray, Brandi and Our Girls said...

We are at the same address. That is very sweet of you. Hope all is well in TX. What's happening with the house?

Tiffany @ Paging Doctor Mommy said...

Brandi, I wanted to post a comment last night when I read this, but I didn't want to just write something generic. I went to bed thinking about you, and I'm sorry to say that I still don't have any true answers for you this morning. All I can tell you is that your girls are extremely lucky and blessed to have you for a mother. So many parents wouldn't even care to teach such valuable life lessons to their children. I think that your girls will realize that this is something that weighs heavy on your own heart, and in turn they will live by your example. I don't know you IRL, but I can tell simply from your words that you are a remarkable woman!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

So much of the blame has been put on society, teachers in general, and no one (except intelligent people like yourself) has hit the nail. Parenting. Kids watch us, they see what we do, how we act. I hate to see what these girls home lives are like, what they are subjected too. After all, who with any conscience could DO that to another child? Elijah is very sensitive to that stuff as well. He would be just as upset. Your daughters are very lucky that they have you to talk things through with.

heidi said...

We have had quite a few experiences with bullies this year and have had to teach our children the lesson about loving the unlovely. Think about how sad the life of a child must be if they feel the need to smack another kid upside the head? What must she be seeing at home? Who's taking care of HER?

We try to think about that and talk about it with our kids when the situation comes up, but at the same time I refuse to let them be bullied. They have a right to say "Please, stop doing that." THey have a right to tell their teacher. It's not really any different than if our kids are doing something wrong we tell them not to, right? We expect to be able to correct them and it doesn't mean we don't love them. In fact, it means we love them more.

I dunno if that is making any sense. I've only been interrupted about 4 times trying to type this out. LOL

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