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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Oh My!

File this one under "What Is This World Coming To?!?" So my Wednesdays are wild. I worked at the church, run to pick up the girls to go back to the church. We made a pit stop at Wal-Mart. That was a huge error in judgement.

So, I'm standing in line. A line that I decided would be quick. There wasn't much in the carts in front of me. Other lines had people who had filled their carts to overflowing proportions. I shouldn't have been surprised when those people are checked out before I am. I always pick the slow line. I got the crappy superpower of always getting in the slowest checkout line ever! I have all three girls. The older too are bouncing off the walls because they just came from school. Bria is whiney because she's tired. It doesn't help that all her canine teeth have decided to poke through at the same time. Keeping the girls entertained was tough work.

Imagine my surprise when Arleigh says, "Mama! Do you see what that magazine says?" I'm looking around. She was already talking about someone dying on a Soap Opera Digest. Before I can see what she's staring at, she yells, "It says get butt naked!" Hanan is yelling, "It does!" They are giggling on the floor. My eyes are scanning. Where's the Cosmo, it has to be the Cosmo. Then out of my child's mouth comes in a very loud voice, "It says 'Get Butt Naked 50 things to do bare assed!" The kids are laughing. Then I hear from Hanan, "Hey what's bare assed?" Thank you Cosmo and Wal-Mart and the dude behind me who couldn't stop laughing and almost broke his arm trying to get to a copy of the Cosmo.

As I'm dealing with my children's new vocabulary. (darn that school system for teaching my kids to read!) I finally after 20 minutes in line get to the checkout. I was in a rush to buy stuff so Arleigh could finish a school project. Yep, the one thing I had to have, didn't have a tag. Instead of calling for a price check, she sent me and my 3 children, who are still contemplating the term bare assed and the ramifications of saying it in front of their mother to the back of the store to get another one. I've said it before, but I think I'm really through with Wal-Mart. Bring on Target and the commisarry.


On another happy note... I'm the Tell A Joke Tuesday Spot light over at Wayne's Window to the World. Head on over and check it out. Make it quick and you can participate in Honor Them Thursday. You can consider my honor going to Wayne, for picking my fabulous plagerized emailed joke; Kate White, the editor and chief to Cosmopolitan magazine; and the Denise, my checker at Wal-Mart who would prefer to pull her too small panties out of her rear end then pick up a phone and ask for a price check. Each and every one has helped me enhance my blog this week. You should know that of the three Wayne is my favorite and the only one who is liked in this house this week. Of course he is also the only one who was nice to me.


The Driskells said...

Love the story. Even though I'd already heard it I still laughed! It will be a great one to retell in 15 years for another good laugh!
: ) Kara

Thena said...

After reading this I was paranoid in the Wal-mart check-out. Asked the girls what they were reading? lol

Veronica Lee said...

Hi and welcome to MBC! Happy Easter!

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

You are so awesome! i hate walmart, don't you? Give me target anyday! and when I do go to walmart? I always get the older lady who DOUBLE BAGS and KNOTS every one. Let me tell you how fun THAT is when you get home!!

heidi said...

She did NOT send you abck to get a price tag??? SERIOUSLY?!?!? I would be calling and complaining. That is THEIR job to do, not yours. No one pays you to shop at Walmart. If their garbage doesn't have a tag then THEY can run and get a price tag or just guess (which is what all my cashiers have ever done LOL).

Love the magazines at the checkout. They're so informative and help my children's developing minds develop further. Psh.

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