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Friday, April 3, 2009

The No Good Horrible Rotten Crappy Bad Day

I said yesterday that I would tell you about it. I wanted to wait for time and perspective to set in so I could know how to appreciate yesterday. Appreciate it I did. In fact, yes, I had a difficult day. I am very, very happy with the end.

You already know that I woke up with Hanan's behavior and my parenting skills weighing heavy on my heart. I was also in a bad mood over that silly April Fool's Day dinner. Forgive me for my gossip that I'm clearly partaking in to get things off my chest. So many people thanked me or told me how cute it was. I'm so grateful for their kind words. Really I just wanted a fun night for the kids. Most everyone was such a good sport. How come it only takes one to get under my skin? One person was clearly upset with what I fixed. I let it get to me. In spite of my mother telling me over and over not let other people influence my feelings, I was mad. I'm usually much better at shaking it off. I don't know why I let it bother me. Oh well...no sense of humor...his loss. I'm over it.

My mood was grim. I had a long day of church work ahead of me. I knew Ray was going to have a very late night. I felt that black cloud surrounding me. I knew I was doing it to myself and just couldn't shake it. Sometime in the middle of feeling swallowed up by being irritated, I started to notice that Bria was having a hard time walking.

We were in the last few minutes of a mad rush to get out the door when it started to get bad. Bria could not walk to the door much less accomplish her usual run. She would take one or two steps and fall. Sometimes it would just mean that she would put her hands down, sometimes her knees would buckle and she would roll. It was scary. Over and over. She absolutely could not take more than 3 steps without falling down.

I dropped the girls at school and went on to church. I was hoping it was a minor injury or she was sitting funny and her feet were asleep. No such luck. Usually when I get to the church, she thinks it is hilarious to escape my grasp and run across the small area of grass with me chasing her. She tries to make a beeline for the playground. Nope. She fell on the pavement multiple times. Finally she could walk if I held on to her.

On multiple occasions I sat Bria down grabbing at her legs and feet, especially her knees and ankles. I almost wanted her to cry so I would know what was happening. There was clearly no injury. I watched her for the next hour fall over again and again. She was in a good mood, clearly not in pain other than the bangs and bruises she was getting. I tried to get her to stay in one spot so she wouldn't keep getting hurt. This is Bria, my little daredevil we're talking about. She wanted to play even if she couldn't walk. I called Ray multiple times giving him updates.

Finally after what seemed like forever, I got in touch with Bria's doctor's office. They said bring her in. It was almost time for another well baby check anyway. It was just before lunch. I was playing with dynamite. No morning nap, no lunch, this had all the makings of a bad office visit. Off we went. I was prepared for a long wait. The black cloud of a bad mood was turning. I was no longer mad at anyone. I was worried. My mind jumps to everything. What if it was something neurological? What if it was a brain tumor? I worried that this was the start of a very bad period.

I get to the doctor's office and they have me go straight back. Would you believe that when we got there, Bria started walking again. She wasn't dizzy. She knew where we were and she tried to get away and run out the door. I was so relieved to see her run and also had that oh crap feeling. I just get here and they won't be able to see her fall.

So this is getting long. I'll just cut to the chase. They grabbed her to check for an injury. They listened to her heart over and over. They checked out her ears. Nothing. Finally the doctor said, "Okay, let's check her for strep." There were no other symptoms. A few minutes later and strep it is. Now, all I'm dealing with is some nasty diarrhea from the antibiotic.

I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe it was only strep. It will be gone in 5 days. In fact, this morning, she is pretty much back to normal Bria. I'll be singing God's praises all day. We are truly blessed.
When I got home with a sleeping baby in my arms, I thought of MckMama. She is the one with truly bad days. I'm glad they seem to be getting better.

As bad as my no good horrible rotten crappy bad day seemed, it did not end that way. I ended on such a good note even going to mirror to remove my contacts, discovering I probably need reading glasses because oh my goodness I've been walking around with a giant unibrow and Ray said nothing didn't ruin it. Seriously, I was walking around the house looking like Bert looking for Ernie. I know just how blessed I am and that makes me immeasurably happy.

I ended my day with Hanan telling me that she knew she had been making bad choices and bad choices mean disciplines that are bad for her. She is ready to make the right choices. I ended my day with three giggly little girls in a bathtub screaming when baby sister stood up and peed. All I could think is "She standing! She's not dizzy!" I ended my day with a nice conversation with my husband about where things are headed and what's going on in our lives. We had time to talk! I ended my day with Bria waking up just before it was time for bed. It didn't bother me. She was running around downstairs. Running! She had some milk and cuddled with me. I went to bed late but who cares! I have three happy healthy babies.

The No Good Horrible Rotten Crappy Bad day was anything but because I realized how blessed I am. I wonder why I have this huge need to be reminded of that over and over. I'm going to try and wake up to that realization every morning.


The Driskells said...

Yeah! I'm glad your day wasn't as bad as you thought it'd be. We are VERY blessed, even on our worst days!
: ) Kara

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

wow, that was a cruddy day. I would've never guessed strep from that, but, I guess that is why I am not a doctor!
I am glad it all worked out with Hanan as well. It sounds like she needed some time to sit back and think it over, just like you did. It's cool she realized it, even at her young age.
Um, I admit. I can no longer look at your name, blog, anything without thinking of brains. sorry. The thought of somebody handing me a jar of brains...that was the most awesome comment EVER. ever!

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